Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you know for sure?!

How do you know when you are really head over heels in love? How do you know when you find "the one"? I am married, but I'm not so sure it was the right choice. We have our good days and bad days like everyone else. But for the past several months we have had way more bad days. We argue all the time about the stupidest things. We want 2 totally different things in life. It's getting harder and harder to get along, much less make decisions together! So how do you know if it's for real?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:12 PM on Dec. 7, 2008 in Just for Fun

Answers (7)
  • alot of people that get married go through this at least once in their marriage, where they wonder if they really were meant to be together. This is part of that "for worse" part in the vows. you took the vows you should be serious about it. my dh and i haven't been through this, but we still fight over the stupidest little thing all the time. There is never a doubt in my mind that he is the one for me. He's always there for me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • I do take my vows seriously. He however does not. We have a son together and I do everything for him. He goes along doing whatever he pleases whether it affects me and the baby or not. It's like he doesn't care at times.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • I don't think that just because you are in love with someone, it means that they are the one you should marry. I think people confuse infatuation with being in love. I think this where a good long engagement would come in handy!

    Answer by amydh at 9:30 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • I think that sometimes we think that we always HAVE to FEEL love in a marriage. Society, the media, and sometimes other people tell us that true love is something like a Cinderella story, "happily ever after", and I feel that this is soo misleading. True love is a commitment. It means, I will work very hard to make this work. I may not always feel as if I love you, but I will always make the decision TO love you.

    I wish that I had always realized this. I went through a period like what you are going through. We did many hurtful things to one another. We almost lost each other. Thank God we didn't. Now... He is my whole heart and I know he loves me completey too. It's cute because he writes the sweetest letters telling me how much I mean to him. We still have a long way to go, but trust me, I will never doubt my lov for him again, even if I don't always feel it. Good luck n don't give up.

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 9:49 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • Thanks Bella! =) I hope you are right in my case as well!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • I think that sometimes the feeling of being "in love" wears off and what you have left is "real love". Don't get me wrong, my SO is perfect for me and sometimes I get the flashes of "I can't believe I love him this much", but I don't get the "butterflies" like I used to...that part has kind of faded. What we have is comfort and openness. I know that through life I can depend on him. I know that he has our family's best interest in mind. I know that he will never stray. I know that he loves me by all the ways he takes care of me. Knowing that we can have a real good life (and work toward it together) and have a house full of love and humor and affection beats getting butterflies when the phone rings to me.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 10:13 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • You are welcome. I was also going to recommend that you both go out on a date and watch "FIREPROOF". It really is a great movie. check out for more info. Again, good luck.

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 11:10 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.