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i can't do it....

i can't sit here and not cry or act like its not going to happen. Dh is deploying to his mob site in less than 60 days(i know the exact date). I can't stand to think of him not being here for DS 2nd birthday, DD 4th, christmas, etc. He is going to be gone for our second anniversary. &btw he was gone for the first.

I know where he is going, I know kinda what he is going to do. but that doesnt change it. I cry at night thinking that he isnt coming back, that i have to raise OUR kids alone, without their daddy.

how does everyone do it? I just can't, and i dont know why, i know tons of women and men have their loved ones deploy and i know they have to deal with it but i just dont know how.

knowing what i know he saw and went through from his first deployment, well lets just say, he is lucky, very lucky!

what can i do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on Dec. 7, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I am so sorry. My ex husband and I were both military and the only anniversary we spent together was our 5th when he picked me up from the airport and we were already starting the divorce process (not related to our military life). We went through him being gone and me being gone. It sucks on both ends. I am remarried to another military member but we haven't gone through this yet. My husband has never gone to Iraq, he has only deployed to "easy" locations so he doesn't understand what I have been through, which is mild compared to what many experience. The only thing I can suggest is for you to reach out to your military spouse network on base because they are going through the same thing you are and are the only ones who truely know how you feel.

    Answer by cat1622 at 9:59 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • hugsSorry to hear this. Find a support group of other wives in you area going through the same thing.


    Answer by PrttyMstng at 10:00 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • Have you thought of going home to were your family is.For the support until he get back home?? My DH was in Iraq for 15 months. You have to be strong for your kids.


    Answer by louise2 at 10:04 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • By all means, cry and get it out. Bottling it in is no good.

    I'm not a military wife. But ALL of us have gone through situations where we thought we just couldn't bear things.

    What works for me? I ask myself what's going to happen if I just crumple up into a ball and shut the world out the way I want to.

    I carry on because there really isn't anything else sensible that I *can* do.

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:05 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • There aren't too many upsides to being a military spouse. My hubby is Air Force.. and while AF isn't on the front lines like the other branches, he still deployed twice to a war zone location. He missed my son's first birthday the first time. The second time he deployed only 2 days after my daughter was born. The only advice that I can give you is to try and remain strong. You have you little ones counting on you. Easier said than done. I say keep up with your same routines as you would if your DH was still at home. Are you a SAHM? If so, try to get out as much as you can. I know our base has plenty of support for families with deployed members... try to find some on your base or in your area.

    Answer by JDanesMommy at 10:09 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • Get all the support you can from other military wives they are what gets eachother through it cause they are the only ones who know what you are going through!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 11:02 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • I am so sorry to hear this, I have never been in this situation, so I have no advice to give. sorry. But I do feel for you. And I hope you find a way to get through this. I will pray for you and your family! GL.

    Answer by Jessica1991 at 11:12 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • My husband was just deployed for 15 months..he had is two weeks leave and when he came home we got married and he had to leave right away. I found out 2 weeks later I was pregnant. He missed my entire pregnancy and it was so hard I didn't think I could do it. I was depressed, but told myself to be strong for my daughter-to-be. I had my family around which made it easier. No matter what anyone says they will never know exactly how you feel I just wish you the best of luck, I know how hard it can be. That's why we are military wives-we are a rare breed-
    Good luck and hang in there!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:25 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • please message me if you need to talk hun ive been through this myself until june, if you need to talk im here for ya

    Answer by fire_girl7281 at 8:27 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

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