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3 Bumps

Is there any way to get help to leave my family? Do I have any options? Please help, I can't take it any more.

I'm 19 and have a 1 year old daughter. I live with my parents and they tell me I'm not fit enough to look after a child so I cannot leave. Up until tonight I'd listened to their rubbish but I can't do it any more. My dad is a violent drunk and I've had enough of his constant physical and mental abuse and my mother is just as bad because although she doesn't endorse it she says it's his right as a man. I'm fed up of my daughter having to live here and I can't helping thinking if he hurts me what's to say he won't hurt her when she's older? I do work but they make me turn over my wages to them every week which they squander. My friends say it's my fault I'm in this situation as I shouldn't have gotten pregnant. My mind's racing tonight, my father, for want of a better word, has just thrown his glass of alcohol at me because I was sick when I should have been making dinner, I can't take it anymore. Do I have any options?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:48 PM on May. 22, 2011 in Money & Work

Answers (14)
  • im sry ur going through this.. and it seems like u need new friends if u were my friend i would be helping u.. There are shelters for mothers like urself.. get a phone book call around call ur dss ask if they can help u in anyway.

    Answer by chrstny88 at 5:51 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • for one thing honey your baby is here for a reason so your so called friends need to shut up ! yes we can prevent them from getting here but we all know thats not gonna happen its not your fault you got pregnant its no ones fault everything happens for a reason and only god know why ! all you can do is pray ,on the other hand your parents sound like they are the ones who aren't fit to take care of a child ,and don't let anyone tell you ,you can't take care of her on your own because i did it at 15 ,you need to get out of that house a.s.a.p good luck and god bless :) hope i helped

    Answer by alliep2011 at 5:59 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Geez honey do ya have any friends or Grandparents you can stay with? this sounds like a horrible environment for you & your child. I hope you can figure out a plan & reach out for some help.

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 6:05 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Sounds like a horrible situation. Can you and your child get to a women's shelter? Do you have any friends who can help? Tomorrow check with DHHS to see if there is any emergency funding you might qualify for. Good luck to you.

    Answer by meooma at 6:37 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • I'm so sorry you are going through this.

    First of all, you are a mom now. Regardless of what anyone else says, you are THE most important person in your and your daughter's life. Sounds like you have friends and family who make themselves feel better by dumping on you. Did you graduate high school?

    I would say a women's shelter is a good start. Remember everything is temporary, and you won't have to stay there forever. You need a safe place to lay your head at night so you can think about your next move. Keep working, while you can (who keeps your baby while you work?). If you have to go on public asstance for a little while until you can figure out childcare and maybe upgrade your work skills, don't feel bad.

    You are worth it, and your daughter is lucky to have you. Bless you, and we are here if you need more ideas, ok? Don't suffer alone. ~MJ

    Answer by IntuitiveMJ at 7:11 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Call the domestic violence shelter and ask them where you can go. Emotional abuse is abuse. They may be able to get you to the top of the list of housing so you can live independently and get day care.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:22 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • you have to get out of there!!!
    go to a shelter...they will help you!!
    good luck and God Bless

    Answer by mkdirector2011 at 7:35 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • I think you need to leave anywhere will be better than where you at. If you are having a hard time finding some place safe, send me an email and I will try to help you find someplace. I have helped a few ladies find safe haven. Some of them where not even near me. You need to find someone to talk to and get emotional help as well as being out of there. Your parents are wrong and so are your "friends" I use that term loosly on both of them.

    Answer by sweetangie79 at 7:48 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Definitely get to a woman's shelter. At least you will be able to have your own paychecks and get somewhere on your own quickly.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 7:52 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233)

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:19 PM on May. 22, 2011

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