Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I wait?

My DD has been causing all sorts of problems as far as my SO go...she took his work phone and left it at her friends house overnight....ripped a hole in his leather chair...she was wearing her little heel shoes...she knows shoes are not allowed past the front door tile...then today she takes SS's special foot braces outside...those thigns are not cheap and although she didnt know they were not to go outside like that...we did just have a talk about taking things that are not yours...shes also a handful wit her attitude...so I feel like I should just go I mean why should his life be harder...I'm not woring and he;s supporting me and my 3 kids...I feel like I am just a burden and it's only a matter of time before he sees it too...should I just stick it out and wait? I'm not saying he feels like this at all and knows by now my DD is hard to deal with...I just feel like it;s not his kid he doesnt have to and I'm just afraid to have my heart broken...thsi is the first time I have ever really been in love...I didnt realise tha until I got with him,but now I'm afraid he will say enough is enough and tell me to go...I just dont know what to do...

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on May. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • He should have put his work phone up. You shouldn't buy her shoes with heels. You didn't mention her age but come on, you two are the adults and creating the problems by not paying attention. Don't blame her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:27 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Well you need to take the lead since you are the childs mother. You run the show not her, she needs to be spanked punished or whatever you need to do. One day she will grow up and move out and get her a mate and you will be alone. Don't let her run your house or treat your BF like she is.
    You need to take control and soon and let her know you won't accept this kind of behavior from her anymore and if she keeps it up then she will have to face whatever consequence you give her. Good men are hard to find so its your duty as her mother to stop this madness before he does leave....good luck
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 7:33 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • She is 5 and the shoes are for church not that I have to explain that to you and it's not a matter of watching her...I'm 1 person I cant be everywhere every second...SO wasnt home when these things happened...she knows the rules and she's breaking them...that's her causeing the problems
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:36 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • I don't wish to be mean or cause a controversy, but I agree that you may need to place limits that are not being placed.
    But--
    MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT: you should NOT be living w/ someone who is not her father!
    I believe a lot of her behav is coz she wants attn that she feels she isn't getting.
    Children need the security of knowing that you are focused on their well-being & having a live-in SO & having Ssibs is just too hard on them. I'm sure she feels that her needs are coming after yours, the SO's & the SS's.
    Put your child's welfare ahead of your own wants.
    suemayonline

    Answer by suemayonline at 7:39 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT: you should NOT be living w/ someone who is not her father!

    ________________________________

    I believe this can be phrased differently... Relationships do not always work out with the father and some moms do find men that will e step father and husband and not the childs father..

    I think she should NOT be living with someone she is NOT married to.
    KayGia0704

    Answer by KayGia0704 at 7:53 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • so your saying because I have children and I'm not with there father then I should always stay single? thats dumb...im not with their father because he was abusive.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:53 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • If he loves you, he will stay with you despite any difficulties/complications either one of you may have! Don't worry about that part. Your daughter might not be ready for a new dad. Counseling is not a bad idea at this point. It would be helpful to get your daughter to talk out her feelings about the new situation she is in. I hope I understood your question. Good luck :)
    Shisuzsha

    Answer by Shisuzsha at 8:09 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Ive been totaly bashed on this thing before too, so instead of doing that Ill say this, shes a kid, kids do things wrong, sometimes becasue they want attention, other times becuase they are a kid, not becasue your a worthless parent, you seem to be doing a very good job! Shame on those that seem to think your not doing a good job! You took those kids out of a bad situatin and into a better one-hopfully- :-) Try spending some one on one time with her, or had SO spend some time with her, if that is something you are comfortable with... She may crave a males attention, ad since he is the male in the household with authority, she just may be needing that "daddy touch" Good Luck!
    kgrine

    Answer by kgrine at 8:55 PM on May. 22, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN