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Hot guy, nasty house. Help!

I've been dating this guy for a couple weeks now. I have a 2yo and he has 3yo twins & a 6yo. I love being able to go over his house and have all the kids playing, watching movies, etc. He is an awesome guy & his kids are great.

The first time I visited his house , I didn't mind that it was kinda messy. Toys were everywhere, crumbs were scattered about, and there was that slight stench of several young boys, but it was do-able. I cut him some slack, ya know? Single dad w/ 3 boys...I don't expect for the home to be spotless.

On another visit one of the boys was eating a half of a hamburger he found under the couch. I also stepped on a hard Kraft singles slice. Oh...and the rotten apple. That was nice. And when I went to the bathroom...ugh. My bladder must've known where I was because I couldn't for the life of me conjure up even a drop of urine to put in that cesspool of a toilet.

This last visit was even worse. There were throw blankets that reeked of urine. The toilet and the kitchen were both absolutely filthy. Every breath I inhaled I smelled every stench that was in that home.

He is clean. The kids are clean. It's just the house that's unbearable. I live in small apt that wouldn't accommodate all of us. Plus I'd rather not have 4 boys doing...things...on my carpet that would make it less than sanitary.

Us going out and doing stuff isn't always the easiest or most convenient...especially with an entourage of little people. I like hanging out at his house, especially b/c of the humongous backyard, but I can't stand how gross his house his. Do I tell him? Do I bring sheets so that I can sit on his furniture without getting skeeved out? Should I bring rubber gloves and Lysol? How did I tell him in a nice way that his house is nasty and that I'm uncomfortable being there? I really like him & his kids, but I can't be at his house like that when it's SO nasty!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on May. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • Be honest, let him know that it needs cleaned....better you tell him then children services showing up on his doorstep.

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 7:58 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Can you afford a house cleaning service? (just have them come out once, usually they do pretty good deals)? Do that for fathers day for him, he may get the hint

    Answer by JLS2388 at 8:00 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • I would defintely bring it up. Iwoldn't feel that my kids were safe in a home so dirty. If there is that much rotten food all over the place, then I am sure there are little critters running around looking for a quick meal.

    Answer by IamErin-K. at 8:00 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • I visited a guy whose house was like that and I was up front from the beginning. He cleaned it himself and has his kids help. I didn't do anything. I did ask if he wanted me to help but he said no. Be honest. He probably needs someone who can guide him.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:01 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • If you really like him and see it as a growing relationship I say tell him. Nicely, Good Luck

    Answer by greenbeanmoma at 8:04 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • OMG I would just have to tell him. But you can do it in a nice way. Do you think it would be too much too help him clean his house. But if you go back over and its turning back that way,or if he does'nt even try to help you i would be meeting him at the park.

    Answer by mamaofficer at 8:04 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • i would have been cleaning the second i walked in that house....i would tell him that his house is nasty , that he needs to clean it & i would love to help him if he promises to keep it clean.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:11 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • He's a guy with 3 boys, I'm guessing the first time you saw it was his idea of clean. If you guys end up together you're gonna be the one doing all the cleaning, it's not his priority. I'd let him know it's bad and offer to help or just start cleaning, get the kids involved too. You guys will need everyone to do their share in the long run, it won't hurt to start now.

    Answer by camiam81 at 8:17 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Good advice camiam81 real good advice.

    Answer by mamaofficer at 8:21 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • You have to say something, volunteer to help! Don't keep going over there if it's gross. Messy is one thing but nasty is unacceptable. If he gets mad, he's nasty not just overwhelmed with the kids. Run!!

    Answer by Ttcbabyclegg at 8:28 PM on May. 22, 2011

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