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How do I tell them?

I have recently decided to leave a very explosive marriage. We have 3 kids together ages 11, 8, and 6 who are crazy about their father even though he ignores them half the time. I have never spoken bad about him to them because no matter what he is their father and if they form bad opinions about him I don;t want it coming from me. So how do I break the news to them? Is their anythingI can do to make things easier for them?

 
IamErin-K.

Asked by IamErin-K. at 8:13 PM on May. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Level 10 (435 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • I don't think there's any easy way to tell the kids. You need to sit down with all 3 and explain that although their father has been a good father to them, sometimes the mom and dad in a marriage do not get along. Reassure them that you love them and that you want them to be a part of their dad's life as well as yours. Be gentle with them and let them know that it will be hard for all of you, but you are there for them if they want to ask any questions or just talk about their feelings. Emphasize that it is not their fault and that you are not going to keep them from their father, but you will no longer be living together. I'm not an expert nor have I been faced with this predicament, but I've worked with children all my life as a Teaching Assistant and seen and heard all kinds of situations. Maybe seeking the advice of a professional therapist or psychologist is your best bet. Good luck to you and your children!
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 8:33 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • I agree that you need to make it about your relationship with their father and reassure them they are loved by both of you. hug
    whitepeppers

    Answer by whitepeppers at 8:39 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • If you were getting into a lot of arguments with him, the children would be better off without him. Don't tell them that. But if that is the case, then tell them that you decided that it would be best for all of you if gave him some time alone. This may work.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:18 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • I was 6 when my parents got a divorce...there is no easy way to explain it to a child. My mother just told me that daddy was going away for a while and we'd be able to see him every now and then, but he wasn't going to be living with us anymore. I sorta wish my mom just told me what was going on. Your father and I don't love eachother anymore, and we're going to a lawyer to get a divorce and then explain what a divorce is, and that they will still see their father he just won't live with you anymore. Don't beat around the bush, the truth sucks, but is often better.
    monstersmommy20

    Answer by monstersmommy20 at 2:27 AM on May. 23, 2011