Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

A stay at home mom who has a babysitter??

Now I guess I am not really complaining because I do get payed... but on some level it just irks me.

A family friend has me watch her ( almost) 2 year old son 4-5 times a week... but she stays home with her younger child....

I mean I like watching him, he is a good little boy... but I just think it is sooo sad, she is chosing to be a stay at home mom for her little girl, but will let anyone watch her son so she doesnt have to...One time when she called to see if I could and i told her I couldnt ( i was already on the way out of town) she asked if I knew of anyone who could....

She will have her husband bring him to me when he leaves and then he will pick him up late evening on his way home...

I mena the only "explanations" i could think of is she is thinking this way she gets to bond with her younger child alone... but on the other hand he is only 21 months old and I had him most of the time while she was pregnant too... so really how long of bonding time did she keep with him....i guess she could also be one of those people who bond with their girl and only want their son to bond with the father? I dont know.... does that make sense to anyone else????

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:54 PM on May. 22, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (18)
  • I could understand 2-3 times a week for a few hours a day but not this much. Without knowing her circumstances, i couldn't say. And evidently her husband doesn't care about it.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:56 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Poor kid :-(

    Answer by alboston at 9:59 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • i just don't understand this. I enjoy spendingtime with my kids and miss them when they are not around. Everyone needs a break every once in a while, but that is jus over doingit.

    Answer by IamErin-K. at 10:03 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • I have a couple babysitters, honestly. But I'm a student, so they only have her when I go to class.

    Answer by alf2651 at 10:26 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • that seems a little much. she will miss it when he is older and they are not bonded. it will come back to her. or maybe she is just waiting until they are both older to realy be able to handle both at once. just sounds odd to me though. its not a big deal about being a stay at home mom and having a babysitter but that is basically just her wanting only one child around.

    Answer by lambdarose at 10:39 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Could there be something going on with the other child you are not aware of (disability?)

    Answer by 2ndtimewish at 11:16 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • I find it hard to make a judgement on someone's motives without knowing the full story. How old is the younger sibling? Maybe mom is dealing with some PPD? Maybe mom is overwhelmed and using that time to try to rest up when baby is napping or something. Maybe she's working from home in some capacity - trust me, it's darn near impossible to work from home with young kids around. Maybe, as 2ndtimewish said, the younger child has some disability or health she's dealing with now. Or maybe it's just some of the theorizing that you're doing.

    The thing is, without the full story, not a one of us here can know why she's made this choice and as such, none should be passing judgement.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 11:24 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • i could understand mayb like once or twice just to go do a few things but not every day when u dnt sure not paying for it if im not working day care is expensive!!!!!!!! but thats just me i guess if u have the money its not an issue tho

    Answer by Alyson_Torres09 at 2:20 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • I have people watch mine only if i am going shopping ( I have 2 carts worth) and 4 small kids ( my oldest and 5th is in school) and it is easier to do it alone! I couldnt imagine doing what she is doing tho! And I only go ahopping twice a month!

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 10:25 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • thats odd. i have a one month old & a almost 3 year old so i understand that its nice to have someone watch my oldest so i can focus on my infant...but thats a lot of time. how old is the baby? is she stressed out, cause getting back to "normal" after a new baby can take its toll. maybe she's just overwhelmed or depressed. is the boy a hard kid to watch, always messing w/ the baby, or have disabilities? theres just so many reasons this lady wants you to babysit so much.

    if she is just being a crappy mom at least he's w/ you all day & not her!

    Answer by okmanders at 12:24 PM on May. 23, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.