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What do you do about a mom that shows back up after a 18 year absence?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on Dec. 7, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (6)
  • nothing. If your child (or I'm assuming step child or adopted child) is over the age of 18, they are an adult and you can't do anything nor is it your place to do anything...

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 PM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • I am sorry mum sis but no matter how hard it is right now, you have to stand back on this one. Your child knows who the mum is. The Mum who took care of them when they were sick and who was there for school meetings and sports.The mum that was there when they had a booboo, or a first crush. The mum that laughed with them. You are the childs Mum You have been there for everything. I think right now your child is just curious and shocked. but if the birth mother left so long ago she most probably will again. And if she doesn't, Have trust that the child you raised knows who their real mum is. My heart is sad for you, but have a little faith it will all work out well.

    Answer by decafsis at 3:20 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Let the child no matter their age set their rules of a limited relationship or even no relationship. My mother has been gone emotionally through just about all of my life. Now the only way we get along well is for me and her to be like longtime no see opposite end of the neighborhood neighbors. We get along better that way and the stress is less. We're happy and now we laugh and enjoy each other instead of being upset by one of us and sometimes both of us. The adult child must be treated as an adult whether their actions are liked or not.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:24 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • What is there to think about? The mom thought it best to leave so she left. She came back. We can't judge her and her reasons for leaving. Maybe she sheltered the child from something bad. Maybe she wanted the child to have a better life than she could give. It's not our place to judge. The child gets a chance to ask her "what's up?" If the child wants to get to know here then great and if not then so be it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:58 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Well if your chilke he/she knows your their mother, you should tell them what went wrong, and ask to spend time with them so maybe you guys could bond and get a little closer you know what i mean? It wont hurt to try new things In life!

    Answer by Britneyy101 at 11:52 AM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • Is this the daughter or the mom that is coming back? Who is asking the question? It it is the mom, let him/her know what your intentions are and that you will leave it up to the child.

    Answer by lovewing at 12:14 AM on Dec. 10, 2008

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