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6 Bumps

Is it bad that my partner wants to have an adoption while i want to keep our child ?

i am 19 and partner is 20 we are only boyfriend and girlfriend currently

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cwoodard34

Asked by cwoodard34 at 10:27 PM on May. 22, 2011 in Adoption

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • You need to do what is best for you. This is an important choice that will affect you for the rest of your life. YOU make YOUR choice. IF you let him decide for you.....it will be even harder to get over.
    PsychicSherry

    Answer by PsychicSherry at 10:29 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • It's not going to make it easy for you that's for sure!! You are giving birth... no one can make you give up the child. You'll have to go to court and get support ordered if you want his help. Don't expect that to come easy, or for him to be involved at all. Good luck!!

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 10:30 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • its a not a bad thing at least he didn;t want you to abort. you do what you want to do with your baby. its inside you. you are giving birth. do not let anyone talk you into something that you do not want to do. trust me its not something you can just get off your mind. stand your ground mama. good luck
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 10:35 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • I agree with the previous answers. The decision is yours. Keep your baby if you want to! If you give up your baby because he talked you into it, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. He clearly doesn't care, so I say dump him, and keep your baby. Good luck!
    CeeCee333

    Answer by CeeCee333 at 10:40 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • My sister gave up her first child when she was 17 but it was my parents who convinced her to do it. She just turned 41 this year and despite leaving all the records open, her son has not attempted to contact her. She grieves over that choice and feels like she did not have 100% say in how it all went down. She ended up starting a family of her own at the age of 19, and has raised both of her children knowing that they have a half-brother out there somewhere. I feel sad for my sister because it seems like she has spent much of her life trying to fill that hole in her heart. If you give up your child, it has to be fully YOUR choice. It can be a scary prospect starting a family so young, but many many people do it and don't ever regret it.
    nepenthe429

    Answer by nepenthe429 at 10:42 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • I agree with the other mommas, hun, if you want to keep the baby keep the baby. Yes, he is your partner, and you both created life, but you are the one carrying it. It is your baby too and if he doesn't want it, so be it. . . he doesn't have to be it's dad, but that doesn't mean you have to give your baby up. He is the one in need of being given up. . . sorry but that is MHO. GL
    Kirs

    Answer by Kirs at 10:44 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • He is JUST a boyfriend. If I were you, I would keep my child. What happens if you give the child up and then 2 months down the road he is cheating on you? Then you have given up a piece of yourself for someone that didn't even care. No way would I EVER give my child up for someone else!
    VintageWife

    Answer by VintageWife at 10:45 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • He was big enough to play...he is big enough to be a father. Do NOT let him pressure you into a decision you are not comfortable with. I think you would really regret it later on. If he wants to walk, let him...you CAN do this on your own.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:54 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Is it bad? Well it means he's not ready for a child, it leaves open that he may not always be there for the child at the very least, and it almost promises the end of the relationship between the two of you.
    But bottom line, do what is in YOUR heart. And if he can't hack it, don't feel guilty about pressing forward and leaving him behind, trust me, men like that are NOT worth it if he doesn't decide to man up.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:07 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • I can say that we dealt with that same exact thing, but we were 27 and 28. I put my foot down and told him that I was going to do this with him willing to help or I was going to do it without him. The day our DD was born was a life changing event for him. For us it was more him not feeling like we would be able to provide everything that our child will need. I can tell you that we have done an amazing job and she is the light of her Daddy's life and continues to be a joy most days (3 yo's can be very difficult). Make whatever decision that you feel that you can live with and that is best for all parties involved.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 11:39 PM on May. 22, 2011

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