Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

How do I get over a bad friendship finally ending?

I'll admit there have been many times I've wanted to end the friendship - after 14 years she wasn't a very good friend, she's lied and betrayed me, she makes promises and never follows through, she'll go months without any contact then call and expect to me to keep up with the conversation even though I have no idea what's been going on with her. She's toxic and I should have ended our friendship years ago but we have so many good memories and there were times when I needed someone and she was there for me, the only one there for me.

She ended the friendship because she's being a ho again and lying to her boyfriend who called me looking for someone to vent to because as much as he loves her he doesn't want to stick around with someone who is lying and most likely cheating on him, she assumed I was talking to him because he called the guy he thinks she is cheating on him with and happened to tell him he didn't believe my friend and believed he was there with her and that something was going on and since she and I had also talked about the guy being there (they have a past and she insisted to me they're only friends because her daughter was close to his son) but because her boyfriend didn't believe her and confronted the other asshole she assumed I told him everything we were talking about. Her last text to me was "Thanks! Now I know where we stand". I didn't reveal anything to her boyfriend, I never said she was lying to him but I'm not even going to try to tell her that - she won't listen especially not now because she's pissed and has obviously made up her mind. A part of me says fuck it - she wants to lie to her boyfriend and act like a ho and give him reasons not to trust her then blame shit on me that's her choice. I've never once in these 14 years betrayed her and she's going to end our friendship over something she assumes happened than maybe its time to say its over and get it done.

I didn't think losing her as a friend would hurt, but it does. I just keep thinking about all the shit we've done together - everything we've been through together. We've been friends since we were 11 years old! I also love her kids, since they were born I've been auntie to them and now I'll probably never see or speak to them again. What am I suppose to do when my kids ask if auntie and the kids can come over? I really wish I could concentrate on all the fucked up things she's done but all I can think of is the good times.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on May. 22, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Celebrate!! She is carrying too much baggage in her life and now you do not have to carry that heavy load of hers anymore.
    You can find better friends.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 11:17 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Yeah, I kind of had the same problem w/ a friend I've known since we were 11. I just played it cool and waited for her to come to me. It worked.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 11:16 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Allow yourself to go through the grieving process, just like you would for a loved one that had passed.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:40 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • I know it's hard when you lose a friend. But I would let it go. You don't need to be in the middle of her drama and being accused of things you didn't do. It sounds like she is really insecure, not to mention immature. What was the intentions of her boyfriend when he called you. That was wrong. Give her time, she may want to be your friend again in the future. Only time will tell.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:03 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • well it's better now then never right... but the best way to move on is to just forget about it and keep on with your life.

    Answer by mommys2cupcakes at 12:05 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • @amessageofhope - he called me mostly because he wanted to vent, he knew she was lying to him and it was driving him crazy. He and I were friends back in school and had started talking again when he reconnected with my "friend". I let him vent and then we just talked about other stuff like what was going on with him and his ex - she's trying to go for sole custody because she's pissed that he didn't want to be with her and we talked about our kids and other people we knew back in school.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:28 PM on May. 23, 2011