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What can I do if I'm getting fustrated and irrated with theactions of the kids? Venting - No bashing

SAHM and married but only get help when I ask. He's never home,,, works then goes out in the evening. I'm getting to the point were I just get so frustrated at the kids that I want to hit a wall. Physically hit the wall. I do understand that they are toddlers and still have to learn but d@amn I can't do it anymore. Don't get me wrong they were great babies and infants but something changed after they turned 3. Over and over again I'm hearing arguing over toys, or telling them not to touch things. Quiet down is almost every other minute. If I'm on the phone, it's worse. Started with time outs that didn't work. Popped their hands but that didn't work. Back to time outs again. Tried each punishment for a few weeks before trying something different. Just to make sure that it wasn't me doing it wrong. I've taken away their favorite toys. Threatened to tell DH when he gets home. Nothing is working. I'm stressing and my pressure is rising. Don't know what to do. Other then vent and hope that someone else has been here and has a suggestion as to how I can get through it. Thanks for letting me vent.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on May. 22, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Hugs!!! Do you ever get a break from the kids (besides when they nap or go to bed)? Maybe you are stressed and irritated because you are with them 24/7 and do not get a break, or very much help with them. I am sure the kids can sense how stressed you are, and then they probably act up all the more because of it. (I know mine did). You could hire a pre-teen neighbor to be a "mothers helper" - someone to come over and play with the kids while you are home. That way you can have a few minutes to yourself to de-stress or get things done around the house and the kids have someone to entertain them. I do think you should talk to dh, let him know that you are stressed and that he needs to step up and start helping you more-- w/o being asked. Does he have to go out everynight? Can't he stay home and take over the kids/house and you have a "night off"?
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:28 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Why is he gone in the evenings?
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 11:18 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • to destress from his day at work
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:27 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • You sound like u need a break!! Tell him how your feeling. You guys need to sit down and talk, tell him how frustrated you are and he needs to step up. As much as we want.to be supermoms, we just cant do it all. Dont be afraid to ask for help. I understand because i was once there. Good luck!
    kyheavensmom

    Answer by kyheavensmom at 11:28 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • by the time he comes back home the kids are in bed already. we talked before and it lasted a few days. i really don't trust the teens in my area. i hear them when they come home from school and you'd think with their mouths that they were older (cursing and carrying on). my mom don't mind watching them for a couple of hours but she's almost 45mins away. by the time i drop them off, i'd have to turn around and pick them up. we did do the night off but them listening to them call my name or come to the door makes it so you can't really rest. i don't agree with people having full time nannies but right now i'd love one or two.

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:44 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • I'm right there with you Momma! My husband works nights, gets home about an hour before it's time to get up for the day, sleeps till noon, gets out of bed around 2 (he's lazy), leaves for work before dinner, rinse repeat daily. He WON'T take both kids anywhere with him because he says he can't handle/keep track of both of them. He's lazy. My kids are 4 and 7 and fight over EVERYTHING, up to and including, how to hold a pokemon/yu-gi-oh card.

    Something that really helped me: The oldest one in school M-F, and putting the younger one into activities while the older is in school. It may only be 30 minutes, but it's 30 minutes that I can become a vegetable and unwind.

    But, on those times that I'm ready to duct tape them to the ceiling by their hair I either put on a movie and take a shower with the door locked, tell hubby he's in charge and leave the house for an hour, or find a neighbor to watch them for a few minutes.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:47 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • Oh, and it DOES get better. Both of my kids were worse at three than at two. My four year old is finally beginning to act like a normal little person again. She started her terrible two's at 16 months old. It's been an ordeal with her.....to say the least.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:49 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • hhhmmm, duct tape?? nah, can't do that,,, or can i,,,, nah. :) my oldest is able to go to kindergarten until next year. and paying for pre-k would be a stretch. i'm beginning to think that it would have been easier to have one kid and wait until he/she becomes a teen before having another. space them out some.

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:54 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • I would tell your husband that you want a girl's night out in advance. Set a date and call your friends so all of you can get together. If he can go out every night with his friends, you deserve at least a night out every once in a while. He can watch the kids. It's not going to hurt him to do it. He should at least do that for you.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 11:56 PM on May. 22, 2011

  • @rosehawk,,, mine just can't handle them. he'll tell them 3 time the same thing. but when i come out of the room and ask "what did daddy say?" they get it done. he threatens that i'm coming so as they will listen. but by the second time i've already entered the room and the act right. the oldest is 4. you remember the game where you're pointing but not quite touching the persons nose. she does that to him now and of course it irritates him. so fussing from him pursues. the "i don't want to do that" comments when you ask her to play quietly. i know i couldn't have been like this growing up.

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:00 AM on May. 23, 2011

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