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If someone you have known and liked for years told you he has herpes, would you still pursue a relationship with him?

The reason I ask is that There is this guy I have known for 10 years. He is a great guy. We have always liked eachother, and even casually dated for a few months, but we were both just too busy at the time to pursue a relationship. Since I last saw him, 3 years ago, I have had a kid, and contracted herpes from my ex. I just ran into him again, and he wants to go out. I told him about my daughter, but not about my STD. I don't know how to tell him, or if I should even bother. Maybe I should just forget about dating him altogether.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Jul. 11, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • I think that if you are good friends and have been for so long that you should just be honest about it. It's much more common than you might think. They have medicines now that can keep you from spreading them too. If he really cares about you he wont judge you and will appreciate your honesty.

    Answer by cincodemayomama at 1:16 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • Yes,just be careful and make sure that he takes care of them.Dont automatically go into sex and talk about how you want to persue a relationship and how his herpes might affect you.

    Answer by mommaof21986 at 1:17 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • I have herpes, I was diagnosed 3 days before my wedding, my now husband was my only sex partner and later tested negative. I'll say this, my husband could have easily assumed the worst and accused me of cheeting (which I did NOT cheet) but he loved me and trusted me completely. He accepted me and all of my flaws of which herpes not being my worst :) I think that my temper is worst. Honesty is always the best policy. If you are going to become intimate with this person it is your responsibilty to tell him. If you love him then he deserves the truth. Wouldn't you want him to tell you?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • Be honest with him fromt he begining. You have to give him the chance to chose.
    Not that this is you but my husband cheated and the shit gave him herpes and she knew she had it. Now I have it. No one gave me an option.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • It is not a question of having sex with hem and not telling him. It is a question of whether I should even try to be in a relationship with him at all. Of course I would tell him if we were to consider having sex. But should I just forget that altogether?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • You should definately not forget relationships. My husband found out he had herpes the day before he proposed to me. :) I love him so much, I know that nothing was going to stop it, so it wasn't even an issue. It won't be an issue for you with the right guy either.

    Answer by hopingfor5 at 2:50 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • hopingfor5 is right, you can't stop having relationships because of herpes. That is letting the desease run your life and it should not be that way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • your gonna likely find a new guy sooner or later, whether it is this one or not, and you are gonna want to get it on with them at some point. So the way I see it you're going to have to say it some time or another and you might as well tell the guy you like and trust and let him be part of the decision to continue on with a relationship or not..I can see how it would be hard to say but you shouldnt be the one to make the decision for him

    Answer by ReneeLRS at 3:15 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • Yes, I would. I think you need to be honest, but you don't need to tell him on the first date. Give it a little time. There are precautions, but I would be good with it.

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 3:30 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • i had gotten herpes when i cheeted and after 23 years of sex with my husband--he never got it from me , mine comes and goes--i take no medications whatsoever and my husband has never had a sore or any sign of it at all

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

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