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3 Bumps

What are your thoughts on marriages today?

Why do you think that marriages now days are not the way they use to be? I see so many women on here(including my self) that have so many problems in their marriage. I know my problem is lack of communication(with hubby). I see so many people ready to throw in the towel over stuff that if you look at it is pretty petty.What do you think is wrong with today marriages? A few of us was talking about this on fb and one got kind of shocked me with his answer. He said that the younger generation today is so focused on the sexual part and not focusing on the mental part. He went on to say that if the men took the time to "court" their women the proper way they use to then we may see more successful marriages. Do you agree with this? I never thought a guy would say that(thought it would come from a female lol). What are your thoughts?

 
babygirl0782

Asked by babygirl0782 at 9:04 AM on May. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,550 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I think people are more open about their problems now than they used to be. I imagine our grandparents and great-grandparents probably got fed up over some of the same little things that we get fed up with - but they weren't supposed to talk about it, and divorce just wasn't something you did - so they got over it. Now, people talk about everything and we have places like here, where we are essentially anonymous, and divorce is no longer the taboo it once was. So rather than get fed up and then get over it, people get fed up and immediately go to divorce as the solution. I think all the technological advances might have something to do with it too - we have tv, radio, cell phones, ipods, tablets, etc that disconnect us from each other and/or make it easier to connect with someone we shouldn't. With so much distraction, when you decide you're ready to focus, it's probably all too easy to focus on the wrong thing.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 9:17 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • I think that is part of it. I also think people use to just suck it up and deal with the problems, I think we are more self centered and believe our constant happiness is the only thing that matters
    Liberty979

    Answer by Liberty979 at 9:07 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • I think alot of people jump into marriage too soon...they meet fall maddly inlove and are married within a yr. or 2....that's not realistic...i think it take alot longer to truly get to know someone. I also agree with your friend...it;s too much about the sex to start wih it's easy to fall in love if your intimate with the person...but if you have to get to know them on a deeper level first and build a relationship fro that..then it may last...I'm not saying you must wait till your married to have sex at least wait a month or 2...until you have gotten to knoe the person..i am aslo big on living with someone before marriage (I'm totally going to hell I know) I know I'm a totally diff. person to date then I am to live with and I think that's where alot of problems can happen...people are also too willing to give up.. marriages used to last so long because people made it work...they were not always happy but they made it work.
    happymama02

    Answer by happymama02 at 9:12 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • There are many reasons marriages fail. For whatever reason we don't feel like we have to spend the rest of our lives unhappy in an unhappy relationship. You don't get points for enduring yeas of a miserable life.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 9:20 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • In our marriage we don't use the words, mine, me, or I. We use ours, us, and we. I think that's one big problem. People still want their independence, and confuse it with thinking they can't be themselves if they are truly united. It's about being selfish, and we make it a point not to be.
    I also agree that a lot's focused on the sexual part, but if you don't have that intimate connection then what do you have? I didn't marry my room mate, I married my Hubby because not only did we have an amazing mental connection, but we also had a very strong physical attraction. To make it all work, there has to be communication, or nothing's going to work anyway.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:12 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • I think it is part of it but not all. Back when my grandparents married divorce was taboo. Women stayed with their husband even if he beat them, didnt work, were alcoholics or anything else. It was such a no no to divorce alot of people lived through abusive relationships. Now as we have progressed and women have more rights we view ourselves as equals. So if our husband hits us, cheats on us, or anything like that we will leave them. I see nothing wrong with that.

    There are really not many relationships that last a long time anymore. Many girls will marry the first guy that treats them right and end up in a bad marriage later because by the time we hit our 20's we mature and might want what we had in our teens.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 9:13 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • With so much distraction, when you decide you're ready to focus, it's probably all too easy to focus on the wrong thing. --

    this^!! people tend to focus on the 20% WRONG, rather than the 80% RIGHT with their relationships. everything is so much easier to walk away from (convenient divorces, fast-food friendships, etc)..kinda makes you wonder why certain groups of society even desire to be able to be married at all, with the examples they've been witness to!
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:27 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • what a great question first of all, really full of meaning.i think men aren't don't take care of their wives like men used to. love really had meaning a long time ago. today they'll throw everything away over stupid things. men really got lazy to do everything that happens before sex and wanna just skip to it. umm, women also expect more from men. back then, it was all about men coming from work, finding a warm meal and they didnt really have time to complain or whine about being lazy, it was the way it was. these days women look to other women at what they have and get jealous and want it to, sometimes making problems for themselves, not even knowing whats troubling them. also the economic crisis. people had money then didnt. cheap women are everywhere these days, will go after married men even when men clearly dont want them, back then, those were rare stories. those are just some reasons
    fefe87

    Answer by fefe87 at 9:27 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • Marriages now are based on the wrong things. That's why the majority of them end in divorce.
    -Tiffany-

    Answer by -Tiffany- at 12:50 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Because not everyone is going to live a miserable life now like they used to.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 3:33 PM on May. 23, 2011

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