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My adoptive 5yr old has ODD/ADHD, is there anyone out there going through the same thing?

He and his 2 siblings has been with us for about 1&1/2 yrs now. He is a very bright, sweet child but is very high strung and when he is told no, sometimes that is ok but for the most part it is a my way or no way fight. I have 4 other kids in our house so its not just a normal child not wanting to do something. We have hitting, screaming, chair throwing, tantrums for 1/2 hr -3hrs. We have a journal everyday to school and he has made improvements and his teacher has been very good working with him but we fear as he gets older that he will hurt someone and kids are starting to not forgive his behavior and don't want to play with him. I would love to hear from anyone else dealing with this.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on May. 23, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (6)
  • I am soooo with you. My daughter is 8 and she has ODD, ADHD and a possible mood disorder. I hate labels, but that is what she has been diagnosed with. The ODD is the most issue, because of the constant defiance. We have recorded her in her fits which to some extent makes her stop. Rewards for good behavior does nothing, grounding, removing things such as toys, electronics, privledges do nothing. Even the therapist she sees has no real advice for us. I have noticed that as long as she is not hurting herself (when she has tried, she is dragged into the middle of the room so she is not near anything and we make sure she doesn't hurt herself), we make it clear that her question or whatever it is that she wants was 'no'. We are done answering, and we ignore her. This CAN be REALLY hard because she will scream at the top of her lungs, stomp her feet, throw things, etc.

    Answer by techgirl3 at 9:45 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • I wanted to add that we also make it clear that we understand her frustration. We clearify that we do understand what she wants, but it is not happening at that moment in time.

    Answer by techgirl3 at 9:46 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • My 8 year old had been diagnosed with adhd since he was 4. I always knew there was more because he's been so angry and spiteful no matter how good I am to him. Finally his dad gave in after the last two months and he's getting tested for odd and other personality disorders. Please let me know how it goes and praying for you.

    Answer by sugamama3 at 9:53 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • I don't have this situation, but I know what you are talking about (my older sister adopted several children with severe behaviors & today they most likely would be diagnosed with RAD, reactive attachment disorder) and I wanted to recommend a book by Heather T. Forbes (a therapist who works exclusively helping families dealing with the extreme behaviors of RAD and early childhood trauma)

    It's called Beyond Consequences, Logic & Control: A love-based approach to helping attachment-challenged children with severe behaviors.

    I fully believe you that your little boy is bright & sweet (not a bad kid) but that his behaviors & reactions can be extreme. The more you can make sense of what is happening & why, and how best to respond (and not respond)


    Answer by girlwithC at 2:17 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • (cont) the more you can support him and his growth.

    There is a website associated with the book/author (I think it might be and I know they have a forum for discussion & support among parents (with a wide variety of experience/familiarity/proficiency with the approach) you can join.

    I hope this is a helpful suggestion.


    Answer by girlwithC at 2:17 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • bump

    Answer by sstepph at 4:27 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

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