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How to do more for myself? he wants me to, i want to...

been a sahm for 4 years, prior to that i was a mlitary woman. when we met i was strong, independent..what you expect from a military woman. Over the years being a sahm I lost myself, Im so domestic now and I dont have a life outside of the house. I wanted to get a job...got hired, found out the daycare is completely full, 2-3 month waiting list and I cant use any other daycares (we live in another country, he is military) so now Im gonna ba FCC in home care provider, aka in home daycare for up to 6 miltary kids mon-fri so at least I'll be making money again, but Im still in the house. I need to do more for me...I need to get more social. I try to set up girl days , but other military spouses seem to be just as antisocial and it doesnt work out. The only things I can seem to get people to go to are playdates at the playground.but that is still domestic lol.

I need something not related to domestic lil' housemommy me. Something that makes me stand out again as a woman. any ideas?

Answer Question
 
moki1984

Asked by moki1984 at 9:45 AM on May. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Level 11 (573 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • A nice "hot" date night??? Go all girlied out and he will let you know you do stand out as a woman. But to be honest,,,,,,,,doing what you do with your kids and making his house a home.........and STILL wanting to feel like a woman.......simple means.....you are. Good luck mama!!
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 9:48 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • Can you take some sort of class in your area? Check out schools or stores that offer some sort of class/get together. I have even heard of groups sponsored by a local bookstore here (they were not a book club group). Think outside the box and call/visit any place that you can think of. GL!
    whitepeppers

    Answer by whitepeppers at 9:52 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • i think part of it was that when we first met..i aws a social butterfly , i had friends all over, i was fun, independent etc. i was like the wolf...and now im like the sheep, im tame, im calm, somewhat boring at times i think lol, i dont have any friends (all of my friends i had here just got ordered to other duty stations, literally EVERYONE i was friends with lol, go figure) I stood out back then, he felt like he got that one that no one else could nab...you know how men are lol.

    couple years ago I tok up belly dancing to lose weight at the gym, i fell in love with it cause it made stop feeling so bad about my "mommy tummy" and I went up on stage one night with my tummy showing even though I was a bit chubby then and i didnt care...I belly danced with my sword and I did my thing feeling on top of the world and he loved it....he said he was soo proud to see me up their being myself and being original. CONTINUED
    moki1984

    Comment by moki1984 (original poster) at 9:54 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • Is there a possibility of getting a part time job for when he is home? No sitter needed if he is there for the kids.

    How about joining an activity off-base? You can make new friends and maybe set up brunches around that?
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:54 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • HE WAS ALll over me that night...

    but past 2 years....im just blah. im a mommy, im a wifey. other than that...ehh, Im boring now. Their is no excitement from me or va va voom even though I do get all girlied up sometimes
    moki1984

    Comment by moki1984 (original poster) at 9:55 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • I'm having a hard time getting out of the house myself. I could use some advice too.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 9:55 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • Not sure if these are options for you, but will suggest it anyway. what about joining a women's fitness center or maybe look into groups (like a craft group for example). or if you are a reader does the local library have book discussion nights?, what about taking a class and learn something new-- either a continuing education or a 'fun' class....
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:56 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • get out there and find ladies who aren't doing the mommy thing 24/7..kwim? look for bookclubs, hobby stores, community groups, whatever is something of interest to you..there's got to be a group for it, somewhere.. you just haven't found it yet.

    i'm kinda in the same boat..worked the salon for 23yrs, quit a year ago to transfer with my dh, and have been a bored sahm ever since.i joined a bible study group that meets during the daytime, which was great because ds was in school...i don't go for the study, i go for the social contact. i needed some adult conversation! there is a take-home cooking class i may go to, too..not really interested right now, but its an option. my point is, if you find or know of 'options', no matter if they aren't really your 'thing'...try it anyway! at least it gets you out of the house, right??
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:57 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • I do want to lose 10 more lbs, Ive lost a lot of weight over the past 2 years, but 10 more and I hit my goal. If I could get a group to do fitness classes or start meeting some at the gym that would be healthy and be doing something.

    I admit..Im a little intimidated by this gym. one its huge..lol...two Im really cheap and hate paying class fees and its been a long time since I worked out hard so I know I would be sucking wind really bad. I have social anxiety and situations like that where I feel like I don't measure up to everyone else I get really anxiety stricken. I didnt have social anxiety until the past 2 years.
    moki1984

    Comment by moki1984 (original poster) at 9:59 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • I know what you mean. I was a stay at home mom also. For 10 yrs. Now I work part time while the kids are at school. You need to find your nitch. I like photography. After I take pics, I make scrapbook pages. You need to get out with your girlfriends more. I try to meet once a month. Go to your town website. They may have listings of adult classes you could take at your schools. Go to the library. They may also have group/classes. Good Luck Hon.
    Jerzymom

    Answer by Jerzymom at 10:00 AM on May. 23, 2011

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