Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

9 Bumps

I am getting sick of the legal system when it pretains to children.. "best interst of the child, best interest of the child..Fathers rights"

I am getting tired of it and I can say so because I am experiencing it first hand.

The story just reinforced it for me.

here are excerpts.
"Born in 1995, he lived with his mother until, in 2005, the father received custody of both Christian and an older sister."

"Christian was made to live inside a used metal dog cage. He allegedly was repeatedly struck and kicked by both his father and stepmother. When Christian tried to escape from the dog cage, his father reportedly secured it with seven locks. The keys were kept near the father's computer, where he was said to enjoy playing video games about racing while his son struggled in the cage"

Sometimes the courts view of" best interest of child" is skewed and leads to death and harm of a child that would never woud have happened.

I am in the middle of a custody battle with my ex and he is a mentally unstable father. He is not in my daughters life at all. I currently have a restraining order against him because the courts (2 judges) see that he is a dangerous person and see that I can be in danger, BUT they say he has not hurt my daughter yet so he is not a danger to her. Thank God Almighty that he does not follow the visitation because I know for sure he would do something. They tell me he has to harm her first before any actions can be taken. So basically to protect my daughter he needs to kill her first or harm her first. Isnt it about protecting children BEFORE they are harmed and killed and not TRYING to protect them AFTER they are harmed and killed.

Fathers Rights.... Sometimes the best interest of the child is to NOT have the father involved. Just because the men donated his stuff to make the child does not make him a fit father. I understand that some relationships are scorned and parents are battling with emotions but the courts can not use the same cookie cutter solution for every child. Whenever there is an issue of custody, through investigation needs to be made. Especially in cases where the child was living with the initial custodial parent for a very long time with no signs or issues of abuse.
Its just sad to me..

what are your thoughts?


***if you didnt click on the link.. The boy went missing and was found murdered.. No one ever reported him missing

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:52 AM on May. 23, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (34)
  • I agree. My son lives with his dad because he took me to court so many times I ran out of money to fight him. My son disclosed abuse by dad and his gf and none of it mattered. Now were back in court again and my son wants to come home. In some cases some parents (mom or dad) do not deserve to have any rights.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:55 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • I totally now how you feel and I also fear that I will go through the same thing when DS arrives.I'll be praying for you!IN THIS CASE MOTHER KNOWS BEST!!

    Answer by prdVirgobby at 9:57 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • All decisions about child custody should be made "in the best interest of the child", unfortunately often times courts/judges/lawyers interpret that differently than we do. I printed out the legal definition of that some years back and was prepared to battle using that definition. Hands down there would have been no way the children would have been removed from my home using the states definition. It has yet to get to court but I'm still prepared to fight with all I have. Good Luck to you.


    Answer by meooma at 9:58 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • I didn't follow the link but does it say WHY the mother lost custody? There could really be more behind it that we don't know.

    Also, this is not the first story like this, only the mother was the one who treated the children in this same manner.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:59 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • its very very sad. yes i agree that it should be a case by case basis. unfornately the courts are so full of corrupt judges that sometimes the father have the upper hand and ofcourse money helps. i hope it works out for you.

    Answer by lambdarose at 10:03 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • I understand your point although it is not always the father that is the mean one. I have a cousin who lives with his father because his mother is crazy and was abusing him. The courts decided that it was in the best interest of my cousin to live with his father. His mother did have visitation in the beginning although that ended after a few months.

    So while I agree that the courts are sometimes whacked it doesn't mean that being with the mother is the best thing.


    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 10:04 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • I feel for your situation. But in reality.......moms can be just as bad as's the individual, not the gender!

    Answer by Dahis at 10:06 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • been in court fighting for the past 4 years! courts are a joke. there is no common sense involved!! i hve spent thousands on lawyers while the ex gets free ones. he knows how to play the system. the kids dont even want to see him but no one will listen to them! i could go on and on for hours about it!

    Answer by mykidsmom86 at 10:12 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • I didn't follow the link but does it say WHY the mother lost custody? There could really be more behind it that we don't know.

    Also, this is not the first story like this, only the mother was the one who treated the children in this same manner.

    In this case, I dont think the mom lost custody over harming or murdering.

    The child moved and wanted to go back to mom.

    he lived with the mom for 10yrs, was a healthly happy kid and then the father wins.


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:21 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • Wow, that is sad. My childrens father is in prison for manslaughter. It was a freak accident. I do not like for my kids to be taken to visit. I know what he is capable of n I refuse to to be apart of his life anymore. He may be released on parole soon and I do not want him around us. He makes promises to my kids he won't keep. He starts drinking and acts like a fool.
    You are right though, the legal system is a double edged sword. Sorry to say but sometimes children aren't even safe with mothers either. That is scary! Parents have Dps called or prior abuses n still leave the children. This subject just really disgusts me.

    Answer by startingover777 at 10:22 AM on May. 23, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.