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Divorced twice? Is there any hope?

So I have been told by two professionals that I enable others. They say that I am a giver and I feel compelled to make others happy.
In turn I have been through two divorces. I have three kids....By my first hubby. Great kids. I feel I have enabled my older daughter. I am fighting like hell to change this behavior.

I don't mean to do this. I get sucked in by these guys that see my kind nature and then BOMB! I am taking care of them and all their bad habits.

Any suggestions? I honestly feel to protect myself it is best never to marry again. Just to concentrate on my kids. I do get lonely. I have desires but have worked through them. I am embarrassed by my failed marriages knowing that I created a mess.

People tell me I am beautiful. I get asked out all the time. But I just say no. If I ever do date how do you tell someone you enable others and dating me probably would not be good. I have been alone a while now.

Just feel like I will die old and alone.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:06 AM on May. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • Have you been to or considered therapy? The therapist could help you find out why you enable others, and would be able to work with you on how to overcome or deal with the issue. You have the right to be happy, and the right to find someone special. I hope you will give some of the guys a chance. Who knows one of them may just be the right guy for you. Good luck!

    Answer by MizLee at 11:08 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • I have been divorced twice. I always picked the wrong guys. I am remarried now. My best advice is to stay single as long as possible and just date. When I met my husband he and I didnt date at all. We were strictly friends. A couple years later we started to date and even then I didnt want to get too serious. You have to be alright by yourself before you can really love someone else anyway. Just take it one day at a time for now.

    Answer by gemgem at 11:09 AM on May. 23, 2011

  • You have to work on you, forget everyone else. Not in a bad way, men loved to be taken care of but if you don't take care of you then hey who will? You need to learn that you deserve better, do for you. Men will always be there and yes there is one out there for you, don't look and he will come your way. Once you love your self as much as you love the men. You will find your self making better choices. We live and learn.

    I am kind of in the same boat, I am a fixer, lover, mender, although my x and I are still dating, I live here and he lives there. Wierd huh, he he takes care of us and we like it that way for now anyway. He lives by himself and I live with the kids. we don't argue as much and about stupid stuff.

    Answer by KFree907 at 11:33 AM on May. 23, 2011

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