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My SO got mad about me focusing my attention on my 12 yr old dd who is bipolar and suicidal. I got angry about his selfishness.

So, when he asked me for my last $3.00 for cigarettes, I wrote "Thanks for last night" on them. He stuffed them in my pants while I was sleeping and woke up my kids and told them that he broke up with me, he's going to ask his hs crush out on a date, he doesn't want to be their dad anymore (none of them are HIS), and that he is going to kick us out tonight. He also told my kids I am fat and lazy - that all I do is eat all day. I don't eat 0r I wouldn't be always going low - I have diabetes. He knows I don't have anywhere to go and that my kids could be taken from me if I live in my van. We have been together for 2 yrs, minus 4 mos when he kicked me and the kids out last time and sentenced us to live in my van. It was winter and the windchill was -39! I know I have to go, I just don't know how. I can't work right now and I am fighting my disability.


Asked by Babylove76 at 8:00 AM on Dec. 8, 2008 in Relationships

Level 21 (10,227 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)

  • NO ONE is saying that you are a bad mom. However, what this man did to you is crap, and allowing him to do it is crap. Heed the advice of the women who have spoken ahead of me... .
    Call the shelters (there has to be more than one), call churches (it doesn't matter if you attend or not), call family and friends ANYWHERE in the country, get on a bus and go, if you need to. Call the United Way, call the homeless shelters, battered women's shelters, food pantries. Ask for referrals for help, if you need to.
    No one is alone in this world. It's just looking that way right now. I wish you the best.

    Answer by richgirljj at 8:42 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • *cont'd*

    I don't have any friends or family around. I have no one but me and my kids. BTW, he makes over $800 every two weeks (take home) and I get $600 per mo and $500 FS. He only HAS to pay his cell and lot rent totaling $375.00 per month.
    I don't want us to be over, I love him. I know I have to do what I have to do to take care of my kids. Since I don't have anywhere to go right now....I guess I suck it up and kiss his ass to have a place for me and the girls. I am waiting to be approved for housing.
    Any chance he will come back to me?

    Answer by Babylove76 at 8:04 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Im sorry, but you have to think of your children. I grew up in a household somewhat like this. Except I tried to kill myself, and somehow it got blamed on how dumb I was by my step father. I have emotional scars from this that will never fade.
    I know its not what you want but seek out a shelter, or a womans abusive shelter, he is emotionally and mentally abusive you and your children..
    Think of you kids and only of your kids at this point.
    Call your loal police department they can help give you info on shelters.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:06 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I know of a shelter here in town...we lived there already. It is really hard to get in there and there is a waiting list.

    Answer by Babylove76 at 8:12 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I went through similiar and you can have him removed from the home and stay there. You can also go to social services and tell them you are homeless (they wont take ur kids) and they have a once in a lifetime fed program that will pay to move you into an apt, and until you find one or they find u one they will give you hotel vouchers. If I were you Id drive down there today and get the ball rolling on that. He also sounds atleast emotionally and verbally abusive which means you can say you are fearful (and you are) and need to leave and get a room at the domestic violence shelter.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:14 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • gemgem: Thanks for the tip I will check it out. As for staying here, I can't. His aunt owns the mobile home we live in and he hasn't told them we were back together yet. He's been hiding us all since July.

    Answer by Babylove76 at 8:18 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Guess what, if you've lived together that long, he can't kick you and your kids out without warning. Call the cops and have HIM removed if he gets out of hand. That being said, get the hell away from this man as soon as possible. He sounds crazy and just plain mean. Get your name on the list at the Shelter now and go as soon as you can get approved. You and the kids will be approved for housing if you get away from this jerk. Don't wait for him to hurt you or the kids.

    Answer by Kimebs at 9:13 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • kimebs: we've only lived in this house together since September....

    Answer by Babylove76 at 9:16 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I know a lot of women love men that treat them bad. That always makes me sad to see someone that thinks so little of themselves that they're willing to eat whatever crap someone throws at them. If a man can throw you and your children out in below freezing temps, then he's a poor excuse for a man, or a human period. Go to DHS, apply for welfare, ask about a job program for something that you're able to do with your disability I wonder if you're noticing that he's kicking you out each time when it's cold? Scare tactic, just cruelty? I don't know how long your daughter has been diagnosed, but I have a friend who's bipolar and his is "enviromentally caused" meaning his homelife is too stressful

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:23 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Sometimes we believe that we "just can't live without someone"...When this is not so.  You lived WITHOUT him before you met him...You already proved that to yourself. Maybe this is an oopportunity for you and your children to MOVE FORWARD to a better place that is not familiar for you anymore. You must ask yourself IF you need him or IF you want him. These are 2 different things. And if you need him...WHY?...Especially of he talks down on you...And if you WANT him WHY?....When it is easy for him to say he does not want you.   Re-event yourself. Let this be an opportunity for CHANGE in your life. Use all the resources you can get your hands on and take advantage of it.  You will be surprised that you are far more stronger inside then you even know...


    Answer by MamaGuru at 9:25 AM on Dec. 8, 2008