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What would you do?

Made a trip with dd and sil to other dd for her graduation.Also had my sister i had not seen in 9 years coming to dd home.Well all was well i thought.My own dd's treated me very rudely the entire trip.Claimed i made it all about their aunt,instead of them.After telling me not to worry about gas for this 14 hour trip ,on the way home my eldest dd nearly held me up at a station for gas,telling me i had not even offered,when i had my cc ready ,and offered till i was blue in the face.Gave her most of the cash i had as i was afraid they were going to leave me curbside.Now home ,excuses are coming,sorry it was the stress of trip,son in law was a total jerk.Now i feel so hurt and cannot believe they treated me this way.I was told by my own 2 girls that the only reason they tollerate me is because they love me?????? Am i supposed to write this off or should i ignore them awhile?They have never done me this way ever.They were raised better than this.They made me feel ashamed so badly and i still do not know what for.hurt and disgusted.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on May. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • IF they have always treated you with respect before...it might have been stresses in their lives...beyond the trip. I would forgive them and move on IF they have said they are sorry. IF it happens again, stand up for yourself and tell them that is NO way to treat their mom and when they are ready to treat you with the respect you deserve then they can come over to your home. HUGS!
    PsychicSherry

    Answer by PsychicSherry at 1:21 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • I would try to cool down for a bit. Next i would definitely try to dig up some reasons why they feel this way about you, maybe try to have a serious talk with them.
    Genice6

    Answer by Genice6 at 1:22 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Tell them how you feel. Next time you visit your other daughter drive yourself so you won't have to put up with their moods, since that is what they're claiming. If they only tolerate you because they love you, tell them you feel the same way, the difference being you would never hurt them the way they've hurt you. Do not feel ashamed of yourself; they're the ones who should feel ashamed for treating you rudely. They should be glad that you offered money for gas. My mother lives with my husband and me, has been for at least 4 years. She offers us money only after I complain about the bills. So I stopped because I don't want her to give me money if I have to ask for it. I would like it to be given gladly to help us out since my husband is unemployed and I'm living on disability. You have a right to be upset, but don't stoop to their level by ignoring them. Say your peace and move on.
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 1:32 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • I have helped them out so much in the past i am ashamed.I have never hesitated ever in helping them,money wise or lending a helping hand.I am so ashamed of them .My sister noticed it all,and called me after i reached home .I had bragged on them so much to her and now i am the fool.Never in my wildest dreams could i believe any of mine would treat me this way.I guess its true you think you know your own and then they shock you with all this crap .Thanks ladies,i raised them right,don;t know what happened .I offered to pay for so much on this trip,and was told no don't worry about it.So i stopped offering.See my youngest dd has married into wealth and she wasted no time humiliating me over and over again about money and her trips as a teen ager.How her grandparents paid for stuff,well does it matter how you come up with the money ?Just as long as they get to go? Sorry but i needed to vent this one.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:25 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Honestly? I think mothers should cry more in front of their children. When children are being selfish and say hurtful things, I really don't think we should "suck it up" because we gave birth to them. Evidently your DD don't think you have feeling or a soul they can hurt. I'd tell them separately that they have hurt you to the core AND explain how and tell them you expect a HEARTFELT apology for the way you were treated the next time they decide to talk to you... and say "decide". OUR budding "Adult" children seem to easily forget what you've done for them all their life. But there is hope, by 25 or so, they come back around.
    hollydaze1974

    Answer by hollydaze1974 at 3:31 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • I cried the whole way home.They did not speak to me,except for the yelling and screaming my dd did on the way to my car.Tried to call their father to explain,but were weak at that.I never dreamed they could treat me so badly,at what i still do not understand what i did.Enough crying ,.Enough period thanks ladies,i appreciate you all.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:00 PM on May. 24, 2011

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