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devils in disguise.

so last week my sixteen year old watched her baby sister every day when i went to get hubby from work. the baby has a cold and i didnt want to take her out. and like three days out of the five i came home and the things ididn't have time to do during the day were done for me. so come friday my daughter wanted to go in town (we live in the country) and stay with a friend til sunday i told her no that i had to go get my husband (not my oldest kids father) and didn't want to take the baby out that i would take her to town on saturday. well that wasn't good enough and she threw a fit and said she wouldn't watch the baby for me. blah blah blah well saturday comes and she is getting ready to go in town and i told her no that it wasn't good enough for her yesterday and she wanted to act like a fool so she wasn't going. so she didn't talk to me all weekend.was i right or should i have let her go.

 
jodi205

Asked by jodi205 at 8:17 AM on Dec. 8, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 17 (4,145 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • You did the right thing mommy. She has to follow your rules. She breaks them and those are the consequenses. You love her and care for her but she has to know you are mommy and not a friend.
    jareda69

    Answer by jareda69 at 8:31 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Youre the only who can really answer that since family dynamics and rules are different in every home. Plus you have your own rules and if she broke them and thats a normal consequence then I think you were in the right. I have teenagers and I try and pick and choose my battles with them. They tend to act like fools often LOL
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:20 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • thanks jareda69 its just that she does help me out so much with watching the baby and all and she does deserve her little breaks too. she is a straight a student doesn't get in trouble but i cant let the mouthing and the attitude go and let her do whatever she wants ya know and i know she realizes that she is such a good girl i just hate fighting with her or being mad with each other. i guess deep down i know i did the right thing its just that it hurt both of us
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 8:50 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I agree and don't agree, even though she is 16 she shouldn't be obligated to watch the baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • i would say you did the right thing for telling her no. Her actions were not right. However you should have sat and talked to her. Did you tell her thank you for watching the baby. maybe she felt like you owed her. Watching a child is a LARGE responsibility and maybe she does not feel appreciated. I think you should talk to her and let her say what ever is on her mind without interrupting her. But what ever she feels does not excuse bad behavior. You were right in what you did
    jovimarie

    Answer by jovimarie at 8:55 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • no the baby is not her responsibility but the baby is sick. would you rather me drag her out in the freezing cold rather than leave her with her sister in a nice warm cozy house for a half and hour? i did try to talk to her and she just said don't talk to me i don't want to hear it so i left her be. and yes i do tell her all the time i appreciate her help and i actually even pay her for watching her sister if i feel that she has watched her more than she should. it is her sister and if i have to run to the store and don't want to drag the baby out then there shouldn't be a problem with her keeping an eye on her for an hour or so, but last week it was excessive cuz the baby was sick so i did pay her for it.
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 9:00 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • If she wants to do things then the attitude will have to stop. She'll learn! As long as you aren't always leaving her with the baby then I don't see anything wrong with her helping you out.
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 9:02 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I think that you were right given her behavior. That being said, she sounds like a really great kid, and it seems as though she helps you alot. Maybe you could do something special for her, not Christmas/Holiday relater, but just to say Thank you. If you could afford it, maybe concert tickets for her and a friend, or something more simple like a movie. You'll have to decide what you can afford and what's appropriate for your family, but I really think that you should do something for her and that might help to curb these fits in the future.
    Kimebs

    Answer by Kimebs at 9:05 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Oops. I meant related, Not "relater"...sorry for the typo.
    Kimebs

    Answer by Kimebs at 9:05 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I ask my 14 YO to occassionally watch his little brother (while I'm taking a bath, doing laundry, reading a book for half an hour of "me" time) I make sure to let him know that in exchange for cheerful cooperation, he will receive 24 hours "shore leave" in which I give him twenty bucks for pizza and let him ride his bike to a buddy's for video game night. This way, he knows he's appreciated and has something to look forward to.
    Rarely does his sibling responsibilities interfere w/ shore leave, but he doesn't give me too much crap when it does - he can see that I wouldn't ask him if there was any way around it. So far so good... probably will change when he gets a car in 2 years lol...
    plylerjones

    Answer by plylerjones at 9:19 AM on Dec. 8, 2008