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Am I wrong here? LONG

Ok I am really irritated, so IDK if I am just overreacting or what, but here's the story:
My DD's birthday is this Saturday (she'll be 3). My ENTIRE FAMILY (parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.) go camping for Memorial weekend EVERY SINGLE YEAR. Its their thing (I don't go because I hate camping). So, because DD's birthday falls on Memorial weekend, we've had to have her party a different weekend (last year was the same thing, we have her party a week later). So, I ordered invitations May 1st and just recieved them (PS, don't ever use InkGarden). In the meantime, I sent out a FB event, as well as text/called family members who I know don't use FB to let them know when her party would be (obviously sending out invites not even two weeks before the party isn't a good idea).

My aunt knew about the party on May 9th. I sent her a text about it (I still have it in my phone!) she replied, we had a conversation about the party, and how the kids were going to have so much fun, etc. Well she text me today asking if DD was going to go camping with my parents this weekend, and I replied, "No, her birthday day is on Saturday and she is going to spend the day with us, we'll take her to see a movie or something." And she replied, "Oh, that makes sense. When is her party? I don't have a computer, so I don't see invitations on Facebook" (I'm guessing her daughter told her she got a FB invite). I replied with the date and time, and told her I was sorry I hadn't sent her a formal invite yet, we just mailed them yesterday (and obviously being Sunday, it didn't actually even mail yesterday).

SOOO, she replied, "Oh, well we won't be able to make it, I have to ask for the day off three weeks in advance, and you didn't give me enough notice." I just replied, "Sorry, like I said, we didn't get the invitations until yesterday. I thought I gave you the date a few weeks ago when I text you about it." And I just dropped it.

But I am freaking pissed! She has a HUGE family, and we've already bought some of the food, soda, and other treats for the party expecting them to be there. I know it isn't that big of a deal, but it just pisses me off that she had plenty of time to ask for the day off, and didn't. The worst part to me is that she is always texting me asking if I can do this or that for her, and DD and I NEVER miss her/her kids/her grandkids birthday parties. We go out of our way to make sure we can attend. I am just so irritated about the whole thing!

Am I justified in being pissed? Or should I just let it go and keep going out of my way to do things for her?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on May. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Don't stress,next year it will happen again.Keep all extra supplies for yourselves and mabe next time you won't be able to make her parties?
    grismelda

    Answer by grismelda at 2:31 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Yes you are. What I do? I get "sick" right before someones party who ditched us for one of my kids.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:32 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • "(obviously sending out invites not even two weeks before the party isn't a good idea"

    in whose world is that true? In mine, you need to send those invites out at least a month in advance!

    Unless you CALLED her and spoke to her, you can't expect that this invitation was really seen. Sorry. I wouldn't bother being pissed. I would see if the cousins can be brought over by dad. If not... you don't have to buy sodas the rest of the summer!
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:34 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • I wouldn't bring it up anymore but I would be hurt...not really pissed. I have a big family also and there are a select few who dont come to anything. DH and I have already talked about this and have decided that when they have kids we wont be attending anything. If might seem childish but if they dont care enough to even stop by for 30 mins why would we?
    Mikayla_lynn

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 2:34 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • I'd let it go but I wouldn't be available when she needs favors. Makeup some excuse or have another function to attend. She'll get it.
    JezebelKel

    Answer by JezebelKel at 2:39 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • "(obviously sending out invites not even two weeks before the party isn't a good idea"
    in whose world is that true? In mine, you need to send those invites out at least a month in advance!

    ^ I was saying that sending them out two weeks before the party is NOT ok. I realize that. I normally do send them out a month early, which is why I was contacting everyone via text/Facebook. And we really don't call in our family, like at all. We all send texts. When she has parties she sends me texts to invite me as well.

    If might seem childish but if they dont care enough to even stop by for 30 mins why would we?
    ^This is exactly how I am feeling!! I am irritated that I make all of these efforts to make it to everything and she can't bother to take the day off for my ONE child?! (We don't do parties for myself or DH, DD is our only child, therefore one party a year).
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:42 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Thanks everyone for all of the comments. I appreciate feedback. I really think my feelings are hurt by all of it!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:42 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Thanks for the clarification. I guess I'm just too old-school... texting is the LAST way to contact me because I might *never see it! (At least I don't require engraved invitations like my MIL does!)

    It's OK for your feelings to be hurt. But it's THEIR LOSS, not yours. So don't let it get to you for too long. Have a great party and everyone will be talking about the great party and THEY will be the losers.

    It's that old "be the bigger person" thing.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:51 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Sounds like my mom and my son's 3rd birthday party last March. I told her in Feb. to not make any plans the weekend of his birthday and she agreed. So 2 weeks before the party I confirm the date with everybody she tells me oh her friends want to go clubbing in San Francisco that weekend. She goes all the time with them!! This was his first big party! Then a week before his party she says how they made reservations for a hotel and cannot take it back! His party was on a Sunday and because she didn't want to get up an hour earlier and drive back home right away she did not go! My mom is VERYselfish! So I understand your point very well!
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 2:55 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • It sucks that your daughter's birthday falls on Memorial Day weekend and that your family can't make an exception to skip camping one time for her. Your aunt should've known better, too. It's something you've previously discussed with her. At this point, brush it off. Throwing a party is enough stress as it is without adding family drama to the mix. Focus on your daughter and you can still have a great time even if the party is a little smaller.
    fricky29

    Answer by fricky29 at 3:19 PM on May. 23, 2011

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