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RELATIONSHIP QUESTION

OK IM A SINGLE MOM OF 3 BOYS, AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT ALL YOU MOMS THINK ABOUT SOMETHING. I HAVE SOME FAMILY THAT KEEPS TELLING ME I HAVE TO AND GOT TO STAY SINGLE, AND I SHOULD NOT DATE OR HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN. THEIR REASON IS BECAUSE I HAVE KIDS. I DONT GET IT, IM ALMOST 30 AND IM READY TO SETTLE DOWN AND BE MARRIED, I HAVE BEEN READY FOR YEARS BUT HAVENT FOUND THAT GUY YET, AND I DONT REALLY DATE THAT MUCH I HAVE NOT BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP IN WAY OVER A YEAR. AM I WRONG FOR WANTING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE MY BOYS DADS ARENT AROUND THEY NEED A FATHER FIGURE, ONE IS ALMOST A TEEN. I DONT THINK ITS FAIR FOR THESE FAMILY MEMBERSD TO BE THIS WAY, IM AM LONELY AT TIMES AND THEIR IS A PART OF MY HEART MY KIDS CANT FILL, I WANT A LARGE FAMILY. I LOVE MY KIDS EVERYTHING IS ABOUT MY KIDS, BUT I DONT WANT TO AN OLD WOMAN IN MY 60'S OR 70'S DYING ALONE AND NEVER HAVING A MAN TO SHARE OUR FAMILY LIFE WITH. AM I WRONG FOR THIS???

 
1_bbygrl

Asked by 1_bbygrl at 2:58 PM on May. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (4 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • who cares what others think!! if its going to make you happy, find a man! like you said, you dont want to die alone. your first and foremost priority is your kids, their happiness, and your happiness. go out and date, be careful about it, and introduce them when the time is ready. why do you have to be single and lonely because ur family wants you to be?
    SweetPieMama24

    Answer by SweetPieMama24 at 2:59 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • You're not wrong. If you were hopping form man to man, then a time out would be in order. But it sounds like you have NOT been doing that.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:02 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • People are such assholes. My mom told me the same thing and I'm getting married next week. My mom then told me that there was only 1 reason he is marrying me and it has to do with my very pretty 14 year old daughter. Screw those who don't want u to be happy.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 3:05 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • and in addition to my post, everyone else will always have something to say. unless it personally affects them, they need to shut the hell up. my friend got downgraded from my best friend because i just got tired of her honing in on my personal life and decisions. she criticized me when i started dating my now-fiancee, and she talked out the ass when i got pregnant BOTH times. i personally just think it's because she's miserable in her own relationship - dating 9 years, turning 30 this year, still no ring OR kids when she knows she wants both.
    SweetPieMama24

    Answer by SweetPieMama24 at 3:08 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • If you are ready to date, and you know you can do that without neglecting your kids, then go for it. I was single for several years after I divorced my kids father. When I decided I was ready to date again, I did. I've been with my SO now for almost 2 years, and I feel our lives have been enriched by my SO's presence in them. I never ignored or neglected my kids, they do not suffer in any way, shape or form.

    Having kids does not disqualify you from dating. It might make it a bit tougher, but then the relationship is more rewarding.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 3:09 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Yes, its your life, not theirs. You are a grown woman and nobody deserves to be alone in that aspect. You know whats right for your children. You cannot please everybody, but you need to put yourself first in this situation. Whats right for you and your kids? Happiness. :) Go for it.. have fun... and dont let them sway you or make you feel bad.
    thatgrlkels

    Answer by thatgrlkels at 3:11 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • let love happen, if you find someone who loves u and ur 3 boys go for it, but it will be an extra challenge being that u have to find a man, near an age u prefer, that doesn't mind u having kids, that ur kids like, that if he has kids u accept, that ur family likes etc
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 3:20 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Well just to be devil's advocate, I would suggest you wait until your boys are older. Relationships take a lot of time and energy and seeing your oldest is a pre-teen, you likely have a lot of work with three young boys. Also, you mentioned "dads" so I am assuming your relationships and choices in men hasn't been the greatest. One day, your children will not need you the way they need you now. That day is not 30 or 40 years down the road. They could use your undivided attention (especially seeing you are all they have) for a few more years. What your boys don't need is to be let down by more men than already have.

    SDJenn

    Answer by SDJenn at 6:47 PM on May. 23, 2011