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Differing views on baby.

I'm engaged. We have been having the baby talk for some time. He has always maintained he is content without kids and I have always maintained I want another. I thought we would be able to resolve our differences, but it doesn't seem we can.

I now have baby fever, I suppose, as it's all I can think about. He still isn't budging and I don't know if I can drop it.

For the most part, I feel that I love him enough to be with him and not have a baby. But I just can't stop thinking about it and we are arguing about it more.

Has anyone ever been in this position? Ideas on working past it or is this a relationship breaker?

 
marybeth927

Asked by marybeth927 at 4:43 PM on May. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,983 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • you can't settle on something like this. you will never be content without another baby and he will never want one. i don't think it's complicated i just don't think you want to loose him. i would never go and marry someone that didn't want the same things and that is why my bf at the time had to make some changes in his life. otherwise it meant we wouldn't be together. if he truly loved you he would want to make you happy. this to me sounds like he is being selfish. then again you have to love yourself enough to realize that your desires do mean enough to you that you can't let it go. so let him go. the sooner the better. i used to amke sure that who ever i dated wanted children since i did. stand by your conviction. you'll regret it later if you didn't.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 5:22 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • I'd really try to get into some couples counseling. This is a major issue, and if your husband is adamant that he does not want a child and will not change his mind, then you need to decide whether that is okay with you or not.

    Good luck, mama.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 4:49 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • You are engaged to this man, not married, correct? With that being said, then it is a deal breaker. He does not want anymore kids. He's content with the kids that you brought into the relationship (not marriage). Therefore, he has been honest with you all you have to do is either accept his wishes or find a man who wants the same things out of life that you do...I know that you love him but why enter into a marriage knowing that your views differ? It will only cause other problems down the road...know your warning signs....
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:46 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Maybe he is not ready to have another baby, men get scared because it changes everything in the relationship. Having 2 kids is way harder than just one and puts the relationship through a lot of stress. I have 3 and sometimes I just feel like I need to get out.
    booger14

    Answer by booger14 at 4:46 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • I dated guy who didnt want kids and it was definitely a deal breaker. I couldnt see being with someone who didnt want what I wanted in life.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 4:52 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • I don't know how to decide if I am okay with it. I feel that if I stay, I will be unhappy because I am set on having another. And I feel if I leave, I will regret it because I love him. Ahhhh. Wish it was less complicated.
    marybeth927

    Comment by marybeth927 (original poster) at 4:56 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Do either of you have kids from previous relationships?


    If you want kids and he does not. That should be a deal breaker.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:59 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • I have two, he has none. He keeps repeating that my kids are enough.
    marybeth927

    Comment by marybeth927 (original poster) at 5:01 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • I think you should go to a cousnelor or do marital counseling especialy on this subject... this could really tear you two apart.... Good Luck hon!
    kgrine

    Answer by kgrine at 8:04 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Im sorry PREmarital counseling.
    kgrine

    Answer by kgrine at 8:05 PM on May. 23, 2011

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