Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My exhusband divorced me in 2005 after 15 years. The day after our divorce was final came back into our life. I love him, but am feeling guilty of living together and not being married. Any thoughts? Thank you.

Answer Question

Asked by Pearl1963 at 11:29 AM on Dec. 8, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • if you feel guilty about it then don't do it. why didn't he want you back then but all of a sudden after it was final he wanted you again?! sounds kinda weird to me. but obviously you have a reason for feeling guilty... and its not right for you.

    Answer by krazyash023 at 11:31 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • well i can see why you would feel that way. you gave your children more security when you were married and now your not not really. they probably wonder when he or you will leave the relationship again. also if your religious you know it's not right to live with a man unless your married. also it seems like your giving your kids less then what they deserve. why aren't you guys remarried? if you divorce and realized it was a mistake then i would of asked to be remarried. otherwise i would go on with my life. it also sounds like this is another underlining feeling(guilt) to generate cause you really wish you were married. i don't know, that is what i think i would feel and why.

    Answer by melody77 at 11:37 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I am not sure if you are a believer in Christ. I can only assume that you are b/c you posted in religious category.  If you are I can answer this for you b/c I am a spiritual advisor life coach here on line....It is not guilt you are feeling. It is CONVICTION...Conviction of knowing what God really wants for you in your life.   Try talking to you honey about his thoughts for the relationship. If he plans to remarry sometime soon. Also express to him your concerns and what you are feeling about the live in arrangement.  If his answers does not satisfy your spirit...Then pray on it and ask God to reveal His plan for you.  Much love and success


    Answer by MamaGuru at 11:43 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Some people cannot be married. There really are some people that are better at relationships when they know they are less tied down, such as marriage. These people can be in commited manogomous relationships for many many years and never leave simply because they know the option is there at any time without all the issue of divorce.

    Where I work I have seen cases like these so I know it's out there. Also I have known many more non married couples who stay together through a lot more and longer than married couples.

    As for feeling guilty...for what do you feel guilty for??

    Answer by Geminus at 12:35 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I know I should be married to my long ago love. We worship together and feel like God wants us to be married and we strive towards that goal. I think God knows our destination and follows along as we journey to that point. He forgives us our sins. Pray and follow Jesus on your path to grace.

    Answer by angelwings2000 at 2:06 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Comment: Thank you to all who answered. He does not feel guilty, but I feel better just knowing there are women out there that will listen. I do want to do the right thing, thank you.


    Answer by Pearl1963 at 7:18 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Just get remarried.

    Answer by munch12502 at 7:49 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • My sister the bible tell us that when a husband and wife divorce it is BEST that the do come back together if they spepearate and divorce other than for sexual imortality, and remarry it is if they are committing Adulutry, So if your husband wants to work it out , trust God that he has placed you both back together for he is still your Husband in the eyes of the Lord. Part one

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • part 2 1 Corinthians 7:11-20 (New King James Version)
    11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 AM on Dec. 9, 2008

  • Luke 16:18
    “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.( God still considers you married)

    1 Corinthians 7:11
    But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Dec. 9, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.