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4 Bumps

Just curious...(teen moms)

So I read an article in the stir, on this website, basically insisting that being a responsible teen mom means using birth control.

Idk why but even though it's responsible to use it, if you are married, had your first kid as a teen, and get pregnant again, who's business is it if you use birth control or not. Sure the majority of young moms rely heavily on others for support, but what about those of us who actually have it together, pay rent, pay for car, car insurance, dental , health insurance, college, etc... why are those expectations pushed on us?

We'll take me for example: I had my son at 18, I had already been done with HS at 16, am now 19 going into my JUnior yr of college as a statistics major, and yes real University college, we pay for all of our own bills including health, dental and vision. My SO and I both work part time so we can be home with our son as much as possible. We do play groups, i still breastfeed, we buy him only organic, basically we do everything we possibly can for our son.

Yet I don't feel the need to be on birth control. We are getting married this summer, and are planning to wait for our son to be near the age of 3 before we actually TRY to have another. So now I get the irresponsible title?

Another one is...what's with people harping on teen moms not going to college, lol I go by choice, but trust me it's hard, if you go to college after having a kid, you had to really want to go before.


Asked by DomoniqueWS at 9:08 PM on May. 23, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 25 (23,109 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I think a lot of teen moms get an unfair bad rep. Lazy irresponsible parents are found in all age group

    Anyone regardless of age can be a good parent.

    Answer by kayslay at 9:12 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • most people cant be a responsible teen mom, the majority of teen parents dont handle it well

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 9:30 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Well said.

    Answer by onethentwins at 9:18 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • YOU are not irresponsible. When I think bad teen mom I think of those STUPID Teen Mom or 16 and pregnant MTV shows. THOSE are the ones that need to make better decisions. From what you've presented here, of your story, I applaud you for busting your butt to provide a GOOD life for you and your family.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 9:21 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • This topic is very touchy and I agree with you. I myself was a teen mom, and I've provided an amazing life for my daughter. I mean, I just bought a home, we own both of our cars, we have insurance, we have a savings account, we are to do trips and pay bills on time. I feel that being a teen mom gets a bad call because we are young still and have a lot of time in our future to learn and grow. I did miss out on the college experience but I would totally give up the "college experience" for my daughter any day, being drunk or being a parent... Hello!!! Forget the haters and move on and be the great parent you are!

    Answer by staceybelly9 at 9:26 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • I think they are talking about most teen moms! You sound awesome and resposnible and have your fiance in your life, for some the reality is baby daddy is gone, they are living with their parent or worse have been kicked out, and struggling to finish school, I don't think all rules apply for all people, but if I was in the situation I just described I think it would be silly to get pregnant again, but in your situation congrats!

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:43 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Playing devil's advocate but if you both work only part time...what insurance do you have? Medicaid? Personally I think it is better for both parents to be with their child, to know and nuture them. I also see no reason to be ashamed of public assistance. Yet - it isn't the best possible way to thrive as a family. Many offices reject Medicaid, funding for public assistance is being cut. A better option for teens with only one child or none is not to have another until they complete school, have jobs offering benefits, and able to have more opportunities for all their kids. It gets harder. With less and less. I know some amazing teen parents. I equally know a fair number who didn't exactly make it as well as tgey wanted to due to the choices they made - really believing at the time they were great choices.

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:42 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Well said!! I got pregnant with DD at 16 and have been fighting the stereotype ever since!! DH and I are MARRIED, he has an amazing job with the state (which gives us great medical, dental, etc) We make way more than enough to provide for our kids and yet I still get the "teem mom" title. DD is almost 4, we also have a DS who is 1 1/2 and we are ttc #3. You have no idea how many times I have been told to wait! I am SOOOOO sick of it! We are great parents, we are giving them everything the need plus some, we dont drink/smoke or do drugs so why can't people back off or be happy for us?????

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 12:55 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • I have been reading all the answers but I think it is more of emotional responsiblity. I had my daughter at 25 not too young and not to old and I knew or found out what it is to be responsible towards someone else. You go through the motions of providing for this life that you forget about yourself and then you feel constantly on another level, that sometimes it all gets to much and you wish for one moment of quiet. Responsiblity is a big word and us single moms know it more then the rest but being young and all that responsiblity is huge. Walk a mile in our shoes then you you will understand

    Answer by Flowerbug at 1:03 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • Thank You Rosehawk
    We are determined people, and I think that's all it takes. If you are determined you don't mind working hard for what you want.

    Comment by DomoniqueWS (original poster) at 9:25 PM on May. 23, 2011