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I need a suggestion to change my son's behavior

He will not give up on what he wants. He screems and cries. Tonight was my husband's turn to read books before bed (we alternate nights with his sister). He wanted mom. We told him his option was to have dad read or read by himself. He insisited that mom. When we told him to stay in his room, he came out. My husband stayed in the room to keep him in there and he started destoying the room.

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Stephie04

Asked by Stephie04 at 9:26 PM on May. 23, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • then mom needs to do it! thats how it is in our house kids know what they want and dont want and a choice like that is a healthy one its not gonna hurt him to have mom do it instead of dad
    myboysRmyhero

    Answer by myboysRmyhero at 9:31 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • How old is he?

    The thing about kids is they do have preferences and they like to be able to control their world, at least to some extent. Because they are little, they don't have much control over what they do and when, or who with, and they can resent that lack of control and try to assert themselves. To me, I think it's really important to give them as much control as you reasonably can. If the rule about "Daddy's turn to read" is actaully kind of arbitrary, then maybe you should be flexible: okay, I'll read tonight, but tomorrow it's definitely Daddy's turn, okay? It's a good thing that kids have that desire to assert themselves and a lot of parents make the mistake of trying to quash that in their kids and instead make their children obedient little drones, but that's not what's best for the kids. They need to be growing into independant adults, so pick your battles and give him control when it's reasonable to do so.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 9:31 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • choose ur battles, maybe he prefers moms to read, daddy to play, mom to kiss the booboos, daddy to help him with the potty, mom to do this, dad to do that etc
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 9:39 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • You have to let him know he is not the boss, you are the adult, and what you say goes. Period. If you let him throw a fit and get what he wants now, how are you going to tell him no when he's 13? When he throws a fit, have dad walk out of the room. If he tries to leave his room, do not talk to him except to say "You need to stay in your room." Do not engage him. If he trashes his room, make him clean it up later and anything he doesn't clean up, take away. But for right now, just leave him in there to go to sleep. I did this with my 3yr old when he was throwing fits about wanting his grandma to come over (drive across town) and read him stories. 2 nights of no story and he stopped, now story time is easy. Sometimes they just need to find the boundary, its your job to show them. :)

    CoiaCuppcake

    Answer by CoiaCuppcake at 10:11 PM on May. 25, 2011

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