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4 Bumps

Unethical Adoption

Hypothetically, let's say you meet someone who has adopted a child 5 years ago and, because you have also adopted, tells you their story. Let's say that you are told some things that were done 5 years ago in regards to the adoption that you believe are quite obviously unethical and may even be so much so that the adoption could be overturned.

Hypothetically, would you do anything with this information?

 
AllAboutKeeley

Asked by AllAboutKeeley at 9:41 PM on May. 23, 2011 in Adoption

Level 33 (59,874 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • The person adopted in this story deserves to know the truth about his/her biological parents.

    This is horrible, and proof that the desires of the adoptive parents were more important than the child being adopted. Once again an adoption that was not "about the child". Not to mention how wrong it was to do this to the father of the child.
    susie703

    Answer by susie703 at 11:40 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • probably not..unless the issue was detrimental to the child. i'd have to judge whether the child was in jeopardy, physically or mentally speaking.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:45 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • would definitely need more information
    hismommy6509

    Answer by hismommy6509 at 9:59 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Depends on what it was,, if you think they are good parents and love thier child, I think at 5 years old the child would be terribly traumatized by going back to the birth mom. Now if you talking about black market or something or they had the mother proven unfit,, I don't know what I would do.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:47 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • i would if they stole the child, or like PP said black market adoption... but without more info i dont know what i would do
    pookipoo

    Answer by pookipoo at 9:51 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • I agree with the post above me, women lie on the birth certificate all the time unfortunately. What the bmom did was very unethical but probably not as uncommon as you would think.

    I don't know what threat you could make that would stop a dad that wants to be a parent from pursuing his legal rights but obviously he knows about it and isn't trying to do anything.
    2ndtimewish

    Answer by 2ndtimewish at 11:41 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • I am not sure who you would say anything to.

    The adoptee is only five. I don't think it would be age-appropriate and it isn't your place, anyway. That is her family's business.

    It sounds like the bio father already knows. It doesn't sound as if he objects too strongly, since he didn't challenge it. Even if he challenged it at this point, the child would likely remain with her adoptive family as it would be in her best interest.

    All told, it seems like it would not be a good idea to stir things up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:57 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I would not say "report" anything. I would encourage truthfulness in telling the child who the correct biological parent is if known. In a non preachy way if possible. Also to mention how concerned or scared I would be if this was me knowing it could potentially disrupt placement. My thought: how dumb do you have to be to advertise something that poses a risk of losing your child? Pretty damn dumb. That and inviting the risk of drama. The world is a freakishly small one at times. You tell just one additional person and you might as well hang a banner. I'm sorry, but what an idiot to even discuss it. You could argue she doesn't know. In which case how pathetic. She should. Not to mention criminal charges for purgery if caught. You lie in court documentation or in family court in an adoption you are screwed. Both risking criminal charges for purgery and placement of the kid.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:28 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • depends on what was so unethical...
    chrstny88

    Answer by chrstny88 at 9:43 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • i don't know. it depends on what the situation was and if that is impacting the kid's life/well-being.
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:43 PM on May. 23, 2011

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