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Step-parent adoption editted

I am trying to find information for my husband to adopt my child...her dad lives 1200 miles away, hardly ever has contact with her and when he does talk to her he is saying all kinds of off the wall stuff, calls her ugly,doesnt pay support and hells at her...today i called him to let him know that she wont be going to visit because she has to take summer course and he tells me if i would of taken care of parental duties during th school year he wouldnt have to be missing out on her visit...i must add she is 10 and he decide 3 years ago it was time to play daddy and took me to court for visitation and she does not want to go because of the way he treats her. Also he has already lost all parental rights to his eldest child and has a history of physical and drug abuse!

 
suhweetness

Asked by suhweetness at 10:21 PM on May. 23, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,589 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Termination can and does happen that easy. Trust me I know from experience. My dd's dad did that to me that easily. after he got custody he kept changing the times and dates of my visitation with my daughter that I lost a lot of jobs because of him and had a hard time getting my payments in and trying to live. It eventually made it harder for me to find work to pay and to get my attorney paid so that I could take him back to court for it. eventually he took me in to have my rights terminated. the judge though did rule in my favor but ex appealed and won that. So now I am a mother to a beautiful 8 year old girl I am not allowed to know. OP just speak with an attorney to get your states laws. That is the best you can do at this point. If your DH adopting your daughter is what you and DH and daughter want then go for it. It is up to you guys.
    angelmine2011

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 11:10 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Check your child support laws. In Oklahoma there is a law that states "If a non-custodial parent fails to pay support 12 consecutive months out of 14 then their rights can be terminated." I am assuming that he will not sign over his rights willingly. So that would be about the only thing I could think of to start. Call around to attorneys see if they do free consultations and ask them what grounds you would need to terminate his rights.
    angelmine2011

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 10:25 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Before your current husband can adopt your daughter your ex-husband has to sign off on his parental rights, terminating him as her father in anything but DNA. If your ex won't sign, terminating his parental rights, then all you can do is document everything he does and doesn't do for your daughter. If he wants to play daddy, that also includes child support, if he's not paying and you have it court ordered you can have him held in contempt.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 10:27 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • I agree with angelmine... You need him to completely walk away with no contact or support for a year, or sign her over. Otherwise, it isn't happening.
    CeeCee333

    Answer by CeeCee333 at 10:27 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • I am in the middle of a step parent adoption right now. It is VERY hard to terminate the parental rights of a parent. Usually each states specifies by the rules that the parent MUST not pay child support for at least a year or have no contact OR both. Either way, most judges wont even listen to the case unless it's been two years for both. With that being said, even a phone call can start the waiting period all over again.

    Emotions have nothing to do with it. Absolutely nothing. It doesn't matter if he stepped up to the plate three years ago. You should have terminated his rights, if there were grounds to, before he popped back in. You cannot use the OH he's only be active in her life for three years. Thing is, he's active now and there isn't a judge on the planet that would terminate his rights AS OF NOW.

    Thankfully in my case my ex agreed to sign over rights. But, it doesn't happen in all cases.

    Just being honest.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • I know for a fact it was easy for him to lose custody of his first son because he has a history of physical and drug abuse
    suhweetness

    Comment by suhweetness (original poster) at 11:41 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • Wow I get voted down for speaking from my life's experience. So sad so sad. Anyway OP you need to document all of this stuff as well because it could help. Again from what I went through you will need other justifiable reasons (that the original judge of mine did not see) to have them consider termination. Also it would be good to have what is called a "Guardian ad litum" (possibly misspelled that.) That is an attorney that acts solely on the best interest of the child. he or she will review the facts and/or talk to your daughter. They will then tell the judge if it is or isn't in her best interest to lose all contact with her biological father. I am trying to remember as much as I can to help you with this but I kinda started to block out a lot because I still to this day hurt from losing my baby. So I urge you to be careful and make sure in your heart that this is what is really in the best interest for you daughter.
    angelmine2011

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 11:49 PM on May. 23, 2011

  • DH is adopting DD. In order for your DH to adopt the ex has to forfeight the rights or you have to get an atorney and prove that he shows no interest. It's A LOT of money, and a very long process...But it's worth it ;)
    amberpatterson

    Answer by amberpatterson at 12:35 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • Okay well OP you didn't mention those things. In order to accurately help you you need to say EVERYTHING like that. Those are huge factors!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • Your husband can not adopt your daughter unless your daughters father signs his rights away.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 10:27 PM on May. 23, 2011

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