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3 Bumps

Just Need To Talk To Someone....

Okay so here's the thing...for some time now I've been feeling really bad about the way my life turned out after I graduated High School. Now that I've "grown up" and have a family of my own and know what's its like to be a mother...I feel bad about the way I treated my mom while I was living with her. While I was living with her I always was mean to her and I ran away from home once and always lied to her so she can let me go out. I once said I hated her and wished I didn't live there. She never let me and my younger sister go out so we would always throw that in her face and tell her she was unfair. Now that we have a closer relationship she would tell me she was like that cuz she was worried something would happen to us. So we were safer at home. That made me feel really bad because she said this crying in front of me. She told me alot of things she felt after I left with my man. Which by the way, I did behind her back. I was so anxious to get out that I moved in with him. My mom was really upset I didn't say anything so she didn't talk to me for a while. Now I just feel bad because I hurt her so much and I haven't apologized for the things I did to her. :((we're not open like that...which is sad) I just can't even look at her and say I'm sorry...I feel like a bad daughter...I just go by acting like nothing happened. Now I'm not there and my older sister is moving to another state. And my other younger sister is still there but she had a baby now too and I feel like she's mean to my mom too. She doesn't help her financially and her man lives there too. She doesn't help her clean or nothing and my mom provides everything for her and isn't even making her pay rent. She even takes care of her baby when she's not there. I love my sister and everything but I just think she's really unfair with my mom. Things have changed dramatically ever since I left. I feel like my mom just gave up on us. And then my dad isn't even with her. He got caught up in something bad so he's in another state now and I don't even know if he's gonna come back. That's another thing. I miss my dad too. He was messed up with my mom when he was there and he is a drinker but I can't hate my dad for that. He's my dad and I do miss him. I just feel like my son is never gonna see his grandpa ever again. And I won't see my dad ever again either...that's sad and I cry at times thinking about ALL THIS. :( Sometimes I feel like just going back home and pretend I never did what i did and make things right with my mom. I was a bad daughter when I was there and I REGRET it so bad...I love my mom and I do want her to know that. :( ......................................................(finished this in tears....) that's how bad I feel. !!!!!

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Babygirl760468

Asked by Babygirl760468 at 3:14 AM on May. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (49 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I don't think you are that different from most teen girls - I think to an extent it's developmentally normal to behave that way. Does that excuse it, no. I am unclear why you can't apoligize if you feel you need to. I would think it would mean the world to her to know that you were sorry and that you loved her. I would think she feels like a bit of a failure, but i would think she would count it as a success as a mother if you did apoligize. you could write a note or a card if you didn't want to do it face to face, but i think face to face would mean more
    nurse_maya

    Answer by nurse_maya at 3:56 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • Even though you aren't open with your mom, I think you should still try to apologize to her. It may not be easy, but it will be a huge weight off your shoulders if you do. I don't know what terms you two are on or if she would even accept an apology at this point, however even if she dosen't you'll know you tried. It may take some time. Then, please forgive yourself! It is sometimes harder to forgive oneself than someone else. This also may take time. Remember, the past is in the past and there is no changing it. The future is a clean slate so try to do what is right with your mom from here on out. If you and your sister are on good terms try to get her to treat your mom nicer. I hope this helps, hang in there!
    FroggyFeet

    Answer by FroggyFeet at 3:56 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • It's not too late to right what you felt you did wrong. Be there for them now and I am sure that means more to them than what happened when you were a kid. Everyone goes through an ugly duckling phase, making mistakes here and there, but as long as you finally evolve, that is her biggest accomplishment as a mother...so let her see that!
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 4:13 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • The reason I can't seem to apologize to her is because it would just feel weird...like I had said...I've never been open like that with her. As a kid my gradma never showed love to my mom so she's not like that with us. Well now I just want her to know I'm okay. Alot of drama has happened because of my man. She doesn't like him and she wanted better for me so I think she will never get over that. My man did treat me wrong but he has changed his ways and I just hope one day he'll change TOTALLY like I want him to and I'll finally be able to tell her that I'm really happy and he's changed so she won't keep worrying about me. I don't really go visit her like I want to and I know that she's upset about that (she has told me before)....so I'm bummed about that too...Well hopefully I can change those things...
    Babygirl760468

    Comment by Babygirl760468 (original poster) at 8:17 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Well, not everything is going to feel wonderful. Sometimes things are just wierd. Wierd but worth it, LOL. Also, how is it right for you to ask your man to change when you won't put your own feelings aside to make your mom feel better? In other words, if you wont change, why ask someone else to?
    FroggyFeet

    Answer by FroggyFeet at 8:43 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Change the future. All of us teen daughters said we "hated our moms" and even lied at times to do what we wanted. So just tell your mom that you are sorry for your past behavior, and you understand now why she was so protective of you! Just let it all go, your mother will appreciate it so much!! And you can build the relationship you want to have, not suffer from the relationship you had! Just let her know you love her, all things will follow.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 1:50 PM on Jun. 2, 2011

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