Seen counselor today for the first time, met with me alone, will meet with hubby alone in a week then both of us together that same day. We were separated for a month not too long ago, I had an affair 4 years ago and we are just now really dealing with that and getting resolution. The counselor said that it is not uncommon for couples that take the counseling seriously and really push to be open, honest and calm...and that put forth the necessary effort..to come out of things like this a stronger couple than they ever were before and to come out happier and healthier than they might believe they can be again. Said the affair will never be erased from memory, but over time it becomes less important and after a couple years all of that trust can be earned back. Said I am doing everything the way I should with honesty, disclosure, acknowledging what I did wrong, apologetic etc etc...that I need to understand sometimes he will seem controlling due to the lack of trust and I need to accept that and reassure him during those moments that I am in this marriage 100% etc. said he is going to talk to him about clearly telling me what he expects and wants because right now he is not telling me much other than how upset he is at me. Addressed what made the affair happen in the first place, said it is never a healthy, happy marriage that has an affair. Their is always some underlying issue even if very small and that issue has to be tackled, I already knew that issue, and its not a small one for me, its one that brings me to tears somedays and makes me cry out of pure joy on others.
Any of you seen marriage counselors? How did it go? Was it rough in the beginning? He warned me it might get nitty gritty sometimes as we cannot ignore the painful topics, those are the ones that we need to be open about and work out.
Asked by Anonymous at 5:01 AM on May. 24, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by nurse_maya at 5:10 AM on May. 24, 2011
Answer by NannyB. at 7:57 AM on May. 24, 2011
Answer by missanc at 9:35 AM on May. 24, 2011
Nope, my ex refused it on more than one occasion. We ended up divorced.
Answer by 1smartcookie at 11:18 AM on May. 24, 2011