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How will I handle a future step-son with jealousy?

I am currently in a relationship and planning to marry a great guy from Harrisburg, PA in July. He has an 11-year old son who lives with his ex-wife in Pittsburg, PA. They don't have a "scheduled" father-and-son weekend time, due to travel time, gas expenses, ex-wife not cooperating and son is not talking much. He makes every effort to make contact with son, but I think there's jealousy behind it because my hunbun visits me and my son. There is no intention am I going to be a replacement of son's mother nor will my son be a replacement for him after we marry. I am starting to feel a little uncomfortable with his jealousy. I have not had an opportunity to meet his son and I do not know how he feels about me and my son. Has anyone experienced this issue? How do I deal with it?

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Asked by sarah18020 at 5:25 AM on May. 24, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (2)
  • I'm sorry... who is jealous of who? You future step son has never even met you and your child, correct? I'd say what you have is more of a lack of feelings due to never being around the future step son. He might just have no desire to meet you and your son, not because of anything you've done, but rather because he had no desire to be around his father.... Don't start pulling the jealousy card because you've even met... If there was no relationship there in the first place, why start now? I'd just leave the issue alone and push anyone. That doesn't sound like there is a future between you all and it's really not a good place to start when you begin with thinking the eleven year old is jealous of you and your son.

    Answer by m-avi at 6:30 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • He is 11, you are an adult. While YOU should be capable of controlling your emotions, he is not capable. He might feel that as he is not there someone might take his place in his Dad's heart. What YOU need to do is be understanding and realize that he is a CHILD. In addition, you need to be supportive of you SO in making every effort to see his son, no matter how much you think it interfers with YOU and your son.

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:47 AM on May. 24, 2011

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