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2 Bumps

My daughter asks about my ex

I have a 5 year old daughter, I've only dated one guy since she was born, and it only lasted about 3 months, we broke up several months ago but she keeps asking about him, how do I help her through the process of getting un-attached? (the guy turned out to be a real jerk)

Answer Question
 
JustChristianne

Asked by JustChristianne at 6:00 AM on May. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (80 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Why is your dd attached to a guy you only dated 3months? You obviously didn't know him well enough to have him around her that much.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 6:06 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • Get her involved with a stable male influence - your dad or maybe an uncle. Girls need male roll models, too.
    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 6:10 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • he used to drop by un-announced (which drove me insane) just to hang out, although it was only 3 months, since he's the only guy I've dated in her lifetime I assume she figured he would become a regular part of our lives (since I tend to keep the friends I make for a very long time)
    JustChristianne

    Comment by JustChristianne (original poster) at 6:10 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • if she asks about him tell her he won't be around anymore. tell her every time unless she gets specific. in the future don't bring around men unless u are serious with them. i know it's easier said than done.
    mrsary

    Answer by mrsary at 8:02 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • It's a learning process. Be honest tell her he isn't coming back but keep in mind the next guy who seems interested should probably keep his distance until your isle bound.
    abrown2590

    Answer by abrown2590 at 11:31 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • She will move past it eventually. It just takes time. More importantly, you need to learn from this mistake. Three months is way to soon to let a man near your kids! They shouldnt even meet till at a minimum, 6 months into the relationship. Children get attached quickly and hurt more when the relationship ends. Children trust the parent and intrinsically trust whoever the parent lets near them. If you invite the UPS guy into your house while you sign for a package, than your kid will think its ok to let the UPS guy in the house. This is a minute example, but clearly you can see how dangerous that could be?
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 2:26 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • see where I said he dropped by unannounced? that means without permission; note the last part of my question says he is a jerk. I wasn't taking her to his place, I never INVITED him over, and we didn't do things as groups, I got out of the relationship as soon as I realized it was unhealthy. hindsight is 20/20, I'm not asking about what I SHOULD HAVE done in the relationship (past tense), I'm asking how to deal with the repercussions (present tense).

    JustChristianne

    Comment by JustChristianne (original poster) at 2:32 PM on May. 24, 2011

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