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Should I be calling him or should I just leave him alone until he makes up his mind?

Last night I had the talk with my bf/X(?). I told him that all this trying to make things work is making us hate eachother and we need to make a decision. I told him either we can end this and be friends or we can both work this out together as "a team", no more one-sidedness but talk things out and make a decision that benefit both of us. I told him to call me after he has made a decision but this morning I felt the urge to talk to him so I called him, woke him up (oops) and told him that I just wanted to tell him that I love him and to have a good day. He said I love you and hung up. In my heart I know we can make it work and I want to.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:57 PM on Dec. 8, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Don't call. You have spoken your peace so just go on and live your life. If he comes round then great if not then that's great too! You don't have to have a man to validate who you are especially if he doesn't know if he wants you as well.
    Geminus

    Answer by Geminus at 1:00 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Give him space to think us woman tend to be more clingy we are more emotional when it comes to things like this. Just be patient he will soon be in your arms before you know it and if for some reason he isn't don't take it too bad we all have to move on some day or another.
    Hope things work out your way.GL
    Try not to call too often wait til he calls you if he doesn't don't take it personal he will call.
    Keep yourself busy.GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 1:02 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Dont call him give him the space to figure it out!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • As hard as it can be...I agree with the above posts...
    Give him time...
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 1:09 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • if you call to much he will think your too needy and men don't like that. in fact you goofed by calling him this morning.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 1:09 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Before my husband and I made the decision to commit we took a few months apart to get our priorities straight. We made "rules of engagement" lol. We didnt talk on the phone even though it killed me not to talk to him, he said it made him feel guilty to hear by voice even though he had nothing to feel guilty about. We spoke on the internet about 3 times a week, and went about our normal lives as if we were single. Eventually he started dating someone else casually and then I did. When I did he went crazy and begged me to take him back which of course I did. So I think that you have to have some rules in place too. It works better for both parties and allows time to think about what you want from each other.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:12 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I have made a promise that from this point forward I will not call him anymore until he is ready to call me. I hope that I didn't screw things up this morning by calling him. I just let the urge of telling him how I feel get the best of me and called.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I think you should decide what you really want from him. Determine exactly what your expectations are. When you have made that decision, tell him. Then ask him if he wants the same things. If he says "no", then you say goodbye. You can't keep issuing ultimatums and then not following through. To do that makes you nothing more than a doormat for him to wipe his feet on. Love is so much more than mushy feelings. It's much more about choosing to do what is best for the other person. If you find yourself being the only one doing that, then it's not a good match.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:02 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • You need to give him some time to think.And you probably need some time to think too.Sometimes even if you love someone, you still don't make a great couple.Or can live in the same house.But if you have children, you can still be good coparents for you kid(s).I hope everything works out the way it should.maybe pray over it.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 3:45 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • leave him alone for a while .....let him be the next one to call ............ it'll give him time to think about all the stuff going on and it'll give you both time to think about what you mean to each other .
    rachael596

    Answer by rachael596 at 11:10 AM on Dec. 9, 2008

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