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teen years

my daughter is only passing 1 of her classes, she is a sophmore, she didnt do very good as a freshman and my husband and i chaulked it up to just that. But i think she should be getting better grades and settling down in high school. My husband and i have taken away privileages because of missing assignments or a failing grade due to her just not doing what she is suppose to. Lastnight i checked my daughters grades online and she has dropped a full letter grade in another class, i told my husband and he thinks we should stop taking things away from her and let her learn the hard way meaning shell end up in summer school and just let things be. I disagree i said i think she should have all of her privileages taken away and that includes a social life until she brings her grades up. Am i being to strict and out of line? Should i let her find out on her own what her laziness will result in.

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sadesmommy1

Asked by sadesmommy1 at 1:20 PM on Dec. 8, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Perhaps having a "group" meeting. Both parents, the child, and the guidance counselors. Put your heads together, with her input. Let her give her reasons why she is failing. The counselor should be schooled in how to read through her stories and give input as to what they believe is going on, and then you as parents can better guide her to do well.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 1:30 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • You may want to have her tested for drugs (no offense). You may want to check her for self mutilation. But i would NOT pay for summer school. she could just repeat.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I agree with your husband. Sit her down with her grades and graduation requirements. This is what you need to graduate, these are the credits you have. Do not get mad or hysterical. Do not get judgemental. There is absolutely NOTHING that you can do to force her to learn or pass that would actually be constructive. At HS age she must begin taking responsiblity for her own actions and decisions or you will be rescuing her for her whole life. You can assist her in forming a plan of action to fix this but it must be her plan.
    MysticFerret

    Answer by MysticFerret at 1:45 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • If she is your oldest child & you've never been thru this b4 then you need to listen to some of us older moms, first of all get an at home drug test & WATCH her take it! check her myspace account,snoop into anything you think she could be hiding from you,& for the ones who think it would be invading her privacy you damn right it is AND? anyway talk to her school counselor set up conferences with her teachers ask for extra credit where she can make her grades up, ground her little butt till they come up take whatever you can from her to let her know you mean business,now once she sees you mean it BACK off don't rant & rave about it just stay on top of it.DO NOT PAY FOR SUMMER SCHOOL!, don't back down & good luck

    tntornado45

    Answer by tntornado45 at 3:29 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I'm curious why the drug band wagon? I see absolutly no indication in this post that says drugs, just the what I've seen happen with too many teens who suddenly hit HS and the teachers aren't babysitting anymore.
    MysticFerret

    Answer by MysticFerret at 4:13 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I agree with mysticferret- all of you sit down together with a councilor and talk matter-of-factly about the situation. No judgement. Hopefully she will scared by the fact that she'll have to repeat the grade if she continues this way. She should have to learn responsibility for herself the hard way if need be. You could also work with her teachers to find out what her assignments are and sit down with her every night and make sure she does them... if you're willing to put in that much effort that is. I don't think grounding is out of line, but don't get too carried away or she might get to the point to where she just doesn't care. (I remember kids like that in school who were ALWAYS in trouble, and they became so used to it that it didn't seem to matter to them anymore)
    And do make her get drug tested in front of you.
    esr

    Answer by esr at 7:41 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

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