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Need help moms!! My son was assaulted by my sister's son....

Last year at a family get-together, my nephew assaulted my son. My son was 10 at the time and small for his age. My nephew was 16 at the time, and is well over 250 pounds. He is tall, but very much obese. My son was playing with his other cousin, my brother's little girl, age 8, in the sandbox. He was helping her build a castle, and they were so into it they had started a little village and brought out all their little people toys to live in it. The 16 year old decided that he felt left out ( or something) and smashed their little town. The 8 year old was very upset and ran crying to my brother to tattle. My son stood up to his huge cousin and was very mad that he'd made his cousin sad and yelled at him for it. The 16 year old slapped my son in the face, causing him to practically fly through the air and land on the edge of the sandbox and hit his head. My sister ( not the 16 year old's mom) saw all this from across the yard and was running towards them when it happened, but only got there in time to pick up my son and dry his tears. He had a large, quickly spreading bruise on the side of his head and another handprint shaped red mark on the other side. My sister called all the parents over, as we were in the front yard at the time, just having conversations. The back yard is fenced completely in and very safe, so we thought the kids would be fine, especially with a 16 year old there too. My sister, the 16 year old's mom, sprung to he hulking son's defense, saying my son was disrespectful and maybe he hit him too hard, but he deserved to be punished for disrespect. My husband and I called the police, and had my nephew arrested. The cop who interviewed her son was so angry by the time he got to mine, that he called for backup, saying he needed another officer to deal with my nephew. Another officer came and they took my nephew away, my sister following close behind. Shortly after we got a restraining order to keep her son away from mine. The 16 year old is vindictive and we know he will "get even" somehow.

Since then, my sister has refused to have contact with us for calling the cops. However, recently she decided that she and her kids have the right to come to all family events that we are at, in spite of the restraining order. I told her at the last cookout that we didn't care if she came, but if my nephew was there we were calling the cops for violation of a restraining order. Well, she brought him to the next family event, a party at our aunt's house, and we called the police again. Her son was taken away, screaming that he would get even. That was last week, and this past weekend our cars were both vandalized. The hood of my husbands car was smashed in, and my car's tired were slashed, plus a bunch of other damage to both cars, totalling nearly 15,000$ in damages. Insurance will cover some of it, but can we sue him or my sister for the damages? We have no proof other than the story I just said that he did it. We parked our cars down the street that night because we were paving our driveway, which he knew about. We know it was him, but is that history enough legal proof?

P.S. My son is totally fine, and proud that he stood up for his little cousin's feelings. He said he would do it again, and he would. I am very proud of my son :)


Asked by Anonymous at 8:38 AM on May. 24, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Did you call the cops when the car damage happened? They could probably finger print the car. I would totally have him charged with the vandalism.

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 8:42 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • Wanted to also say....we called the cops on my nephew. He is in jail for sexual assaulting my dd. People were pissed that we didn't handle it in house. But he had done this to another family member before and they didn't press charges. We wanted to prevent it from happenening to someone else.

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 8:45 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • Set up a camera he will be back. With no proof there is nothing you can this time, but I would certainly be ready the next time.

    By the way....Way to go!!!! Family or not we all have consequences!

    Answer by treynlisa at 8:42 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • Unfortunately no it is not proof. I have had similar issues with my ex husband and called the police. They of course knew (like I did) that my ex was responsible but there was nothing they could do without a witness or some other proof like an email or message on the phone saying he did it or would do it. They told me the best I could do was what I had done, and that was call the police to document it. The more documentation you get the better, because eventually he will either admit doing it to someone, or get caught in the act.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:43 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • Well first of all Who ever is having the function needs to make it clear that the nephew must not come, if he shows up the person hosting will call the police. Were you cars vandalized at your home? I would call the police and make a report, perhaps you could let it "slip" you have the nepthew on tape destroying your cars. (I know you don't) But he might admit to the cops he did it.. I feel like your sister is sticking her head in the sand in regards to her kiddo, he will soon use her as a punching bag. I would not go to a family event if the host insisted that nephew could come or would refuse to do anything about it.. I am so glad you boy is okay,, this could have had a tragic outcome, and it sounds like your nephew need some very serious help!

    Answer by kimigogo at 8:45 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • Oh and one more brag. File a police report. let them know about your nephew. they will question him and possibly some of his friends. Or maybe you could offer a reward for any information leading to the arrest of who vandalized your cars.....a little bit of money might be enough to get a teenager to come forward.

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 8:51 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • Without proof you will not win any lawsuit.

    Answer by meooma at 8:41 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • I'm sorry Anon- Did I read that right? We "took it a little far, calling the cops on a 16 year old"? A 6 foot, 2 inch, 250 pound 16 year old, that HIT my baby 10 year old ( 31/2 feet tall, 67 pounds ) ? HIT him hard enough to send him FLYING four feet to the side? HIT him hard enough to give him a head injury? REALLY? You are a fucking idiot, pardon my language, other moms.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:50 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • OP, You were totally right to do what you did, way to go ! I too would put up cameras and also motion sensor lights. Keep documenting and stand your ground. This kid needs help ! I would send your sister a letter and tell her that she needs to get him assesed or CPS will..... She is wrong to not get him help..... I would contact your county child division and also a lawyer and see if anything else can be done... Good Luck...

    Answer by LeJane at 8:56 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • Kids brag, they can't keep their mouths shut. Do the police know about the cars? If not, make sure they know and make sure they know that YOU know who did it. In the meantime, do you have any way of checking out his facebook pages? Or anything like that? He won't keep it to himself for long I can promise you that. Does your ten year old have a cell phone or email address? Bully cousin may very well contact him to brag about it.

    Answer by mhaney03 at 9:05 AM on May. 24, 2011