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Marriage what did you and your DH Talk about before if you had kids and he had kids did you talk about the care and who would work? I am not married but I would like to know how that conversation went?

marriage

 
pinkdragon36

Asked by pinkdragon36 at 9:53 AM on May. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 40 (117,668 Credits)
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Answers (6)
  • Oddly enough, in our case the conversation happened eight minutes after we got hitched down at the courthouse, over club sandwiches down at the IHOP. We did not ever formally date, we were BFF until one day out of the blue he hands me a ring and pops the question and half an hour later, Married City. But we did have the conversation you described. We basically agreed on being equal partners and to never hold things back from discussion, to always give the other one an even break and to remember to laugh about things we'd probably rather cry about. And we've done that, for the most part, nobody's perfect!
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 12:41 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I had been single for more than 20 years. I knew exactly what I wanted and expected in my second marriage and was crystal clear in telling my soon to be husband. There were no surprises after marriage for either of us. Until that is we started raising his child's children, that was something no one evens imagined then.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 9:56 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • We were young so the conversation went something like this...

    "Oh I LOOOOOOVVVVVEEE YOU!!!! I can't liiiiveee without you!" We got married. Then on our honeymoon the conversation went..." We are married, we can have sex without a condom, come on, we won't get pregnant." We got pregnant.


    We were so young and stupid back then that we didn't make any plans. We have just gone with the flow and adjusted. I have to say that it has worked out pretty well for us. We have been married 13 wonderful years.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 9:58 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • Sorry... I misread your question.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 10:00 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • DH and I had both been married before and didn't have children. While we talked about what we hoped for in our family life, a lot was not articulated verbally but was understood through our personalities. DH is older and rather old fashioned and would have supported any decision of mine to be a SAHM, but he knew that I wanted / needed to work so if we had any children, would be looking at childcare. I also knew just through his personality that I'd be the primary hands-on parent. That's pretty much the way its worked out, though I will say he's been utterly charmed by our DD and has even changed a few dirty diapers.
    jmpj8107

    Answer by jmpj8107 at 11:20 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • Before me and my DH got married we talked about having children and if we could afford for me to stay home with the baby. It was possible for me to stay home with my daughter after she was born because a year before he had gotten a better job offer. So I would make plans before getting married and have it set that way you don't end up regretting what you did or didn't get to do.
    shelle21

    Answer by shelle21 at 11:59 AM on May. 24, 2011

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