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What do you do when you think the best thing is divorce but you love him too much?

My DH and I just don't get along...We where getting a long for a while and I thought that our relationship would be fine (had doubts before) this weekend was bad. He went to Madera on Friday and since he came back on Saturday something totally changed. We got into a hudge fight, He told me the house was a mess...There was about 2 toys and a couple pieses of paper on the floor and it smealt like pine sol in the house so you could tell that my preg butt got on the floor to clean it (no mop) The dishes were done but we live with toddlers it's hard to keep it 100% cleen all the time, I allow them to play in the front room and make them clean up before bed. Anyways, he told me he didn't care about me, he told me I didn't care about the kids, he told my 1 1/2 year old that I don't care about her, (CONT)

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Dec. 8, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • He wouldn't let me sleep in the room so when I tried to get on the bed he pushed me off and I fell off (not too hard) but I told him I hurt my belly, and he said he doesn't care about me, which to me sounds like he doesn't care about the baby either. I don't know what got in to him, I know that when he went to madera (the town his mom lives in which is about 30 mins away from us) he went to his uncles and I hate him going there because he may do things I don't approve of, like smoke weed, maybe do drugs, i'm not sure, but I don't know what to do. I hat weekends like this. He hasn't said anything nice to me all weekend and when I asked him if he wanted some eggs he said in a mean voice no, and told me last night not to even talk to him today

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Get out of there! Your babys are more important then an abusive mf-er, he's either abusing drugs or cheating. Get out of there NOW or it will get worse and u may loose your child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Yeah you need to leave..your DH sounds very immature. I feel bad for you, but I would not feel safe under the same roof with a "man" like that...If you have family or friends, I would go there. Good Luck

    Answer by Dannee at 2:11 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Get out of there.

    And WHY would you make him eggs?


    Answer by Wimsey at 2:42 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I totally agree with everyone.Your baby is more important than him.Leave him when you can figure out where you can go to.

    Answer by evelynwest at 3:39 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • From expierence my answer to you is RUN LIKE HELL FROM HIM. It is not going to get better only worse. If he is telling you this then you and the kids need to leave. Do you have family members whom you can go and stay with? Do you have friends that will let you and your kids stay with them also. If he allowed you to fall onto the floor then he is showing you that he doesnt give a damn about you and your unborn baby. Leave and dont tell him where you are. If he truly loves you he will begin to miss you and your kids. THIS IS ONLY MY OPINION AND YOU HAVE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU SEE FIT FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. GOOD LUCK.
    To me when its a couple of toys on the floor and a few pieces of paper around honey that is spotless in my book. He was looking for anything to complain about and he made something small look huge.

    Answer by Quindamomof6 at 4:03 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Hey, whenever your signicant other treats you as if you are not IMPORTANT you need to take all those emotions your are feeling and place them on the side and decide do I want to live like this or do I want to be HAPPY AND CONTENT. One thing for sure LOve is not at your house.

    Answer by luvmythree123 at 7:06 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • It' s call CONTROL. He is either feeling guilty about something or he is just your typical abuser, or both. I was married to a man like this for seventeen years and trust me when I tell you that it only gets worse. He is making you feel this way because deep down he feels this way and there is nothing you can do to make it better. If he is not physically abusive yet he will be probably soon. Your kids do not need to grow up in a atmosphere where their mother has to worry about whether she cleaned enough for him today and have to tip toe around him in order not to set him off. The longer you stay the longer your own self esteem will suffer and that of your children.

    Answer by rook289 at 7:54 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • Thank you ladies, I'll figure something out. I don't have anyone I can stay with at the moment because there is no room at my moms (though she would let us stay there, just my girls wouldn't have any room for there stuff and we would all be on the floor and very uncomfortable, so that's a last resort) But my friend who lives about 3 hours away told me if I ever need to get away she would buy me a train ticket up there so i'll see if she is still ok with that since I've been thinking of doing that for ALONG time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • There is definately something going on for him to be treating you this way. I can TOTALLY relate as I am going thru a time with my DH right now that we are talking about divorce. The verbal abuse has GOT to stop and the thing is, he does it in front of our 2 kids and I am to the point of exhaustion from trying to make it work. Please e-mail back to me if you ever want to talk..I wish you the best, hon..I've been there!!

    Answer by wdwfan at 9:46 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

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