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I'll get used to it right?

DH has always been a blue collar man and in his field was always able to text or call me at-will; which he's done constantly for 5 straight years now. No joke, in our time together we may have hit the triple-trillion mark for texts and calls. All day every day, multiple times an hour - even if it were just those 3 little words... "what's for dinner" LOL j/k Anyhow, he recently got a promotion - YAY! He's so happy, and I'm so happy for him. This promotion has moved him into the office - so no more field work - but all things come with a sacrifice, right.
We're 2 weeks into the promotion - and we're finding (I'm finding) that he's so busy with meet-n-greets, sales meetings, paperwork, computer-work, leg-work, phone-work, etc , that now I go hours without hearing from him. Yeah, I know, boo-hoo cry me a river - but I'm not saying "pity me" - I'm just now having to face this after being so spoiled with constant communication and an open line to him 24/7 - just trying to adjust.

I will get used to this right? We're also living 8 hours apart right now because there is no housing where he is, and we can't move me there until we find a house.

Maybe it's just the combination of it all?? Good grief I miss him. Boy there's a big difference between knowing he's coming home at the end of a long day (even if it's 24 hrs on) and knowing he's not - huh?

P.S. I never seen to know where to put questions like this ----- picking relationships just cuz it's about a change that we're going through and not necessarily about his job)


Asked by Anonymous at 11:55 AM on May. 24, 2011 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • you miss him, sweetie... and with good reason. He's not home with you and can't talk to you near as often as you used to. You will learn to cope with it, but I can't guarantee you get "used" to it. Just think of how wonderful it will be to live together again and see each other everyday. I'm sorry you are missing him.... and I hope it's temporary. You have my support.

    Answer by hollydaze1974 at 11:58 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • Awwwww, that's so sweet though! I know, yes, it absolutely sucks, but at the same time, so sweet that you miss him that much! I imagine that you will get used to it though.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 11:57 AM on May. 24, 2011

  • He'll settle in and be able to text or call you. Maybe not as much as before, but he will. He's probably paranoid because it's all new right now. Let him adjust. I hear from my husband MANY times a day.

    Answer by mompam at 12:00 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • The time apart may be good for you. You seem like you've become very co-dependant on him, and thats not healthy. When my husband and I first got married he was on shore duty, so he didn't deploy. I never went more than a day or two w/o seeing or talking to him. Then he transferred and a month later was on ship headed to the other side of the world. That transistion was hard, but you get used to it. You find things to do to fill your time, and learn to stand on your own two feet.

    Answer by KWnavywife at 12:02 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • its the same way with my dh..when he was a fitter he called me text etc constantly hes a forman i never hear from him during the day..i took awhile to get used to..and my dh was always several hours from home for months at the i know exactly what you are talking will find things to get you thru the day sorta like the new promotion money lol?

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 12:02 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Don't think it's paranoia - I married what other women wrote off as a man with nothing to offer - yeah right! In 5 years he's gone from the bottom of the totem pole to 2nd in command of a super-camp. Love, love my darling man and miss him so much - there was one day that he tried to call me like 9 times that day and every single time his phone beeped in on him. Poor guy, he's certainly transitioning - he was always 'one of the guys' - now he's over all the guys - very good choice since he's the most reasonable, even-tempered, level-headed man I've ever known - but yeah, it's a huge transition for him. And me. The day he was supposed to leave, he got up and got in the shower - came out after his shower and was crying - talking about putting off leaving by another day - I had to make him leave. I know without a doubt that he loves me. And that makes me miss him that much more.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:07 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • LOL Navywife - not even close. There is absolutely nothing unhealthy about he and I communicating with each other continuously - we are best friends. We were both long-time single ..... both very independent - and in his field, the wives either get a life of their own early on - or the marriage won't last - because we already spend massive amounts of time apart.

    LMAO while I'm writing this - he just called. His blackberry is down (the techs are in the office working on his phone) , internet is out in his office too - so he called me from his office phone.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:15 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • since you cant communicate constantly you need to focus on what you talk about when you do communicate... Think quality not quantity. When I was in the military and my fiance and I were on different sides of the world I sent a letter every week and a care package once a month. I still chated via email every day and we talked on the phone whenever possible. Even if all you do is get a card, sign it and send it to him... the act will make you feel like youve spent time with him.

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 12:19 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Gwen nailed it. And yes, you'll get accustomed to it as he gets accustomed to his job.

    Or you could trade with me... my husband is the kind who calls constantly... we don't text... but it drives me BUGGY because he can't talk for less than ten minutes, and every time he calls it derails my train here at work. Once I got in trouble at work for the constant calls from him. I've had to tell him to save it till I'm home!

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:35 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I know what you mean. My story is a litle different but I can sympathize. Early on we called and texted a lot. Then he got busy with work. Mine is a blue collar worker and not chained to an office still but he is so devoted to his job and in my opinion takes on so much that he has no time for us it seems. He has admitted that between work and friends me and the kids get the worst end and honestly I don't think I'll ever get used to it. Unfortunately, although I don't think it's done with malice, I think a lot of men have the idea that wife and kids will always be sitting there waiting no matter what. I can't make my peace with that though.

    I hope you get to move soon or get the situation otherwise figured out. I don't think having a lot of contact is bad. I think having very little to no contact is. It's hard to stay connected and married when everything else takes a priority.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on May. 24, 2011

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