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Why are you qualified?

I have been reading all the posts about moms needing someone to give them some encouragement and a lot of mom's are supportive. There are also a lot of mom's that were not so supportive. I see just about everyone jumping to say that these mom's reaching out should leave. I know some of them were married and some weren't but they were all in long term relationships. It has me wondering why you are qualified to give the answer you did? Post Anon if you want. I am just curious.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Dec. 8, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Sure anon but life isnt scripted and it is what it is. We all make mistakes whether its in relationships, with ourselves, our children, or work etc. Life is about learning and getting through life lessons and I think that if we can help someone out then thats a great thing. I was in an abusive relationship myself and had to leave him after we had kids. It happens. And he wasnt always abusive either, he just started using drugs which affected his behavior and caused friction in our marriage. You cant always see whats going to happen, you can only make decisions based off what is currently happening.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:47 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I give advice based off my experience and based off the fact I have a psych degree and have done case studies on relationships (among other things).
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:28 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • most of the women are probably giving the advice they are due to experience. it is advice however the person can take it or leave it we are just giving our support and or opinion. i have no degree if that is what you are asking. but like i said they are asking for our advice,what we do? and we tell them
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 2:37 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • What I say is based on almost 44 years of marriage and a lifetime of listening to and trying to help women. There is a difference between the advice I give married women and the advice I give women who are living with their partners. That's because there is a difference between being married and not being married. If a woman is married, she has made vows which are not to be broken. If she is unmarried, she can leave without breaking her vows. What I would rather see happen is for women to ask for advice before they enter into bad relationships and before children are involved. That would be far easier to talk about.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I also give advice off of experience and do not reply to posts where they cant appreciate my answer. If I dont have helpful advice I dont answer. Its hard. I hate asking questions because somehow I am not perfect but everyone else is : / I just blow them off. Usually they are angry with their own little lives. Theres one mom *I wont mention names* that just rubs me the wrong way. The way she comes off she NEVER has anything nice to say and you can tell by her responses she thinks she is perfect. Its one thing to be blunt and give advice but to ALWAYS be right and not just suggest things but to basically tell you your a moron because you didnt know something UGH! I always like advice from caitxrawks and kabbot01. They have unbiased opinions and are very helpful and open-minded!
    LovinEveryDay

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 2:50 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I'm a big fan of leaving if you're not happy and I do give that advice a lot. I've been with my SO for pushing a decade now, but if he ever walked out on me, cheated, hit me, behaved in a demeaning way...BYE! I'm not a particularly forgiving person, and if I know for myself that if my SO ever did something like that, I would resent him for years...possibly life. Kids don't need to grow up in a nasty resentful home because their parents don't believe in divorce or are tying to "stick it out for the kids". My mother got the crap beat out of her by her second husband and I would go to bed listening to screaming at night while I tried to shield my brothers from it, it was their father. Do you think they were better off because their parents "stuck it out"?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:54 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I definitely give advice based on my personal experience, but I usually try to say that ultimately the person asking the question has to ask themselves what they can live with. Usually your partner isn't going to change... and likely you're not going to change much either. I also think a lot of women here wish other women had the courage they don't have? How to explain this... like I see a lot of women say "OH HELL NO I WOULD BE GONE!" - without any discussion? No clarifying what's going on? In some cases I think the women giving such kneejerk advice are either lacking some maturity or in a situation they *should* leave and rooting for someone else to have the strength to do something they cannot.
    Serafyna

    Answer by Serafyna at 2:58 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I love this

    life isnt scripted and it is what it is

    Good point!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I have made alot of mistakes in my life.Parenting, marriage,... and I answer with what I wish someone had told me back then.But I try to be nice and not mean about it/
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 3:36 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • I was in a sucky marriage for 10 yrs. I went to counseling but if he doesnt want help too its no use. I left him. Best thing I ever did. I am now happily married for the last 3 yrs to someone who loves and cherishes me. we dont yell or scream. we act like we love each other & we do. In my last marriage at 3 yrs we were almost hating each other to the point, I left him for 7 mo...stupid me went back to the verbal abuse that eventually became physcial. Life's to short to live in such an unhappy situation. I vowed the day I left him to never let myself get to that place again in life & I will not! So if someone comes on here complaining they are unhappy then sure I say LEAVE!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:07 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

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