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What's The Difference? adult content

I am the mother of three children, all of whom were conceived through multiple methods of birth control and hence entirely unplanned. When I tell people that, they always say "I guess it was meant to be!" Yet when a teenage girl has the misfortune to have her birth control fail on her, folks are all "ROWR! Bad Girl!"

How exactly am I different from that teenage girl? I'm 41 and in the middle of a career change, not exactly the ideal time to procreate. The only REAL difference that I can see is that I'm married and let's face it, any idiot can get married.

Would you consider this a double standard? Why or why not?

Answer Question
 
Fistandantalus

Asked by Fistandantalus at 12:19 PM on May. 24, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 23 (16,597 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • NO, Only because you're an adult. You're not in high school doing the sex thing you are an adult doing the sex thing.
    Eisleysmommy27

    Answer by Eisleysmommy27 at 12:23 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Double Standard! Because "Its meant to be" should go for ALL mothers.. God gives children when he feels ready. Also, I feel not. Because you're and adult and you KNOW what you're doing, and you know you can care for your children.
    Momma2be11

    Answer by Momma2be11 at 12:26 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I think it is your place in life, despite the argument that anyone can get married, etc.

    You are with someone who can contribute either financially or with the care of the children, you are employed, you are not in high school, and bottom line, you are better set to deal with the consequences of having sex than someone who should be home doing their homework.

    That is not meant to criticize teen moms...my sister had her daughter when she was 17 and did it VERY well. However, even the 5 extra years I had before I had my first was enough to finish high school, earn a bachelors degree, travel where I wanted, get the "youth" out of my system, settle down with my "forever partner", purchase a home, and be better set to offer a child a life.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 12:27 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Yes, it is a double standard. BUT, the difference between you, at 41, and the teenage girl is experience and maturity. How many of us are prepared to support and care for ourselves at 16, 17, 18, much less a baby? I realize that there are those that are, but usually they are described as being more mature. I think its more about being prepared to and capable of dealing with the consequences of birth control failure that separates you from that teen.
    hootie826

    Answer by hootie826 at 12:31 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • usually when a teens BC "fails" people always assume she did it on purpose...you generally woulnt think that of an adult..i think that is th e only diff.
    happymama02

    Answer by happymama02 at 12:55 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • 1double standard. God does give us childern,regardless of our age but our actions. sometimes we get suprises that werent planned but there is a greater reason for them later on. I personally wasnt suppose to have kids{ since 16 girlproblems} and come 19 a close encounter with a dear friend and I was expecting my little girl1 i was just starting my career out too with the military but when i found out about her i came back home. i have always seen it as God slapping me in the head and saying No mama I dont want you there I want you here {lol}. I was young then and looked down on a lot, but i held my head high and raised my angel, now i am married with my second one on the way :) {its a boy!}
    bamamommy2009

    Answer by bamamommy2009 at 2:03 PM on May. 24, 2011

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