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Not sure what to say or do anymore....

ok me and my husband have only been togeher we were eachs first for EVERYTHING and i have never wanted nor do i plan on looking at another man but i found on his phone he was looking at naked girls....i am crushed dont even know what to say this might be stupid im not sure WHAT to think really and its not that we dont have sex we do almost everynight maybe 2 days out the week we dont and its not quickies either it very extended love making and i thought all was good but not understanding why he looked up the pics.....any advice would b nice

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:09 PM on May. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • So, you feel threatened that he has nude pics? Over 99% of women wish that's all they had to worry about. He's a guy and who doesn't get an email or text from friends sharing nude pics? He's looking at pics not dating another woman! Maybe you should rent a porno and have a steamy night together. Nothing wrong with that.... Oh, and don't forget to cook him his favorite hot meal.

    Answer by NikkiVan1 at 1:15 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • No! I do not agree with NikkiVan1. It's offensive to you. Why does he feel the need to look at other women period? You don't look at nude pics of other men. And renting a porno will only open up a can of worms IMO. Confront him about it and ask him why he wants to look at other women when he has a woman who is more than willing to let him look at her naked?

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 1:18 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Ask him why he looks at the pictures. Is he curious about other women, is he unsatisfied in some way? What is he getting out of looking at them? Are they just pictures of random girls on porn sites or are girls sending him naked pictures because, to me, there's a pretty big difference. The only way you'll know why he is doing this is to ask about it, the only way you'll know if he is missing something is to ask about it. And then you two need to decide on something you can both live with. I know for me, I wouldn't necessarily mind my DH reading a Playboy, but I certainly am not ok with him getting lap dances at a strip club. Everyone has their own personal comfort levels so the two of you need to discuss that together and meet in the middle. Don't assume this is because you have done anything wrong, or because you aren't doing something he wants. You need to be open with each other, and honest. Good luck.

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:19 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • no to porno never gana watch one EVER and i did and all he did was grin about it then get angry with me i guess becuse i caught him and it wasnt a text or a email he went to the search bar on his phone and typed in nude pics

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:21 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I don't think it's just a given that guys look at porn. If my DH does he is discreet and respectful about it as I have never come across anything of that sort on his phone, the computer, etc, in 13+ years together. He is a guy's guy in many ways, but he is not raunchy or inappropriate and does not sexualize women and this is one of the qualities I love most about him. If you are uncomfortable with this behavior you do not just have to chalk it up to "Boys will be boys" and live with it.

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:22 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Open comminication! He clearly gets something from it that he's possibly afraid to ask you to do... Be open

    Answer by monshine2 at 1:30 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • thank you maryMW and honestly no im not ok withit becuse he married me not them and to me its downgrading to women the porn thing and i know its ther choice and everyone has there own likes blah blah but for me personaly i dont want my husband looking at another woman in pics or pornos cuz then i feel like i dont look like he wants or do what he wants and we have a very open sex life if we dont like it we dont do it and if he wants it this way he says and we do it that way but thank you for all you advice ladies!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:31 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I'd be a bit upset too, but I've watched porn without him so it works both ways, I don't see any point arguin over it, you seem very happy together so just tell him calmly how it makes you feel. Good luck :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on May. 24, 2011

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