Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Question for those who can't afford a vacation~Do you feel guilty???

Do you feel guilty that you can't afford a trip to Disney World or any place for that matter? Do feel like our society sets us up to feel that if we don't provide vacations like this to our kids that we are bad parents?
I know I have been feeling like a rotten mom because my kid's childhood is quickly slipping by and I can't do things like that for them. Am I the only one?

 
momthruivf

Asked by momthruivf at 1:27 PM on May. 24, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,284 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • Oh, and definitely I feel society sets us up. I was at Sunday school the other day and all the parents (ALL) were talking about disney, how to save and how much to save and what months are the best and they had all (there were like 12) spent hours and hours researching. Um... OK. I lived near disneyland and went a few times, but I preferred the beach, and for us, it was like $8, no hotel, no gas, still was only worth it maybe 2-3 days a year to go to a theme park. But now it's more expected to go for a week and spend thousands, I'm afraid they'll start to compare and want to go too. Like 20 of the 30 people in my CafeMom group have gone, and our kids are not even 5 yet!

    Camping with another family is very cheap and will mean just as much, or a trip to a lake, river or ocean.

    Tracys2

    Answer by Tracys2 at 4:42 PM on May. 31, 2011

  • you do not have to spend a fortune to provide your children with great childhood memories. i went to disney once as a child, but i really loved the water park so much more than disney.
    have you looked into kidsbowlfree.com? free bowling for the whole summer!!!
    camping is a very inexpensive way to have a vacation too.
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 1:32 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Nope, don't feel guilty. My parents never took us on vacations. I knew they couldn't afford it and it never bothered me. We went to visit family in another state and that was our "vacation" (sleeping on the floor/couch/spare bed of aunts/uncles houses and playing with cousins for a week). We also never went to a camp or anything like that. We spent our summers in our pool, riding bikes and playing with our friends. I have great memories of my childhood. My kids already do more than that. We go for long drives, sometimes stopping at random parks we see just to play. We go to the zoo all the time. And they still play with their friends until it gets dark, catch lightening bugs, ride bikes (and swim in our pool until we moved...same pool I grew up swimming in). They already have lots of good memories. I finally got to Disney World on my honeymoon at 23.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 5:25 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • my parents never took us kids anywhere bc there was never any money.. i never thought i would be a single mom of 2. i thought i would be with the father we would both have job and be able to do something like that.. i think about it all the time.. my kids are only 2 and 3 so i have plenty of time to figure something out.
    chrstny88

    Answer by chrstny88 at 1:29 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • My kids get it when I can afford it. I don't feel bad. I save until I can do it and until then I try and make their everyday's good days. I take them hiking and to the mountains and parks often so they get out have fun and be kids
    myownhappiness

    Answer by myownhappiness at 1:30 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • why feel guilty? as long as they are loved and fed and clothed. vacation are not necessary for living. and besides its the experiences not the vacation itself that matters not the place.and its who you are with. there are alot of things you can do and they will love it because they are with you.
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 1:30 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I feel guilty but not so much because we can't afford Disney World. Everyone I've ever known who has gone said it was overcrowded, too expensive and they wished they had used the money to do something different. I feel bad because we have not once done a fun family vacation, taking in the sights, and doing all the things people used to on vacation. This year we had to make a major home repair that used up the vacation fund plus some. I feel like all we ever say is "next year".
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 1:32 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • We were never able to afford vacations when our children were growing up. To be honest, I don't think they knew that they were being deprived of anything, if indeed they were even being deprived. We were able to usually take them to some nearby theme park for a day during the summer. We lived about an hour from the old Opryland theme park, 2 hours from Kentucky Kingdom, 3 hours from Kings Island, and about the same distance from Holiday World in Indiana. Even if you don't live close to anything like that, you can plan picnics and trips to a local pool. The important thing is to make memories with your children. You don't have to spend a lot of money in order to do that.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:32 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • No you're not the only one. I know people who do elaborate family trips every year- cruises, Disney, Aruba. And their kids go to camp half the summer and are in lots of sports and dance and stuff. I can barely afford my daycare but I chose one that is more expensive because I feel it is the best care for my child. At the end of the day I know that a day at the beach together, whether in Aruba or ten minutes away from my house, is still creating memories and spending quality time together and in the long run that is what we all remember and look back on. Sometimes just a picnic in the backyard on a Tuesday night is enough to make your kids feel special. It would be great to do all the things that other people seem to be doing, but remember that just because it looks like they have it all from the outside that isn't the truth. Sometimes its hard to feel like we can't do it all, but better to focus on what we CAN do.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:33 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Don't buy into the "parenting is a competition" mindset! Mary really hit it perfectly.

    You're feeling guilty because Madison Avenue wants you to feel guilty.

    BUT MADISON AVENUE DOESN"T GET A VOTE!
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:36 PM on May. 24, 2011

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN