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He thinks I cheated on him... I DIDNT.

My Dh is a VERY jealous individual. We went to McDonalds once and this man was there with his little boy. The little boy and my children were playing together the entire time. When the man and his son were leaving I said bye to the man right in FRONT of my husband.. You know I gave him a casual smile and said bye.

Dh then sends me a text and says 'Thats fucked up! Karma is a bitch!" I looked at him.. and said.. "What?" He says "You were flirting with that man right in front of my face!" Ladies.. NONE of you know me.. and I am ANON on here.. and I can tell you.. I was NOT flirting with him! I told my Dh "You can fight by yourself because you are acting ridiculous!!"

Fast Forward... I have this BEST friend that I have known since I was 11 yrs old. I told my Dh about him, but it had been a LOOONG time since him and I had talked. I posted on my FB that I was deleting my page... My best friend sends me a messgae saying "Dont forget about me- your my twin, we have the same birthdays! Is your number still the same because you always change it" I write him back "LOL- 772334****- Just call me"

My Dh knows all my passwords, and I have NEVER changed it!! I knew he was checking my FB that day.. well I had a feeling.. and I was right! I went online and deleted the message bc I didnt want my Dh to get upset... Dh had already seen it..

He texts me "Who is Immanual" I said "Oh he is my best friend from elementary school.. (: Why" He writes back "Oh because you deleted the message he sent you"

All hell breaks loose! Manny text me THAT morning, and we had been texting back and forth..  Immediately following my dh seeing the message I texted Manny to tell him what was going on and how I could get out of this mess.. Bc OBVIOUSLY He is ONLY a good friend.. always has been there for me...

Anyways.. fast forward.. My Dh accuses me of trying to cheat on him.. NOT TRUE... and he still does.. I get that deleting texts from Manny didnt really make me look good at all.. and only I and Manny really know what kind of things we spoke about... but should he REALLY think I was trying to cheat on him with my long time friend?

I have already put the shoe on the other foot, and already realize I would think the same thing.. but my Dh was going to DIVORCE me over this! And mind you he called me a lying cheating whore! My best friend also lives in KY- while I live here in FL. I mean really? Its not fair he thinks this... Just let me know.. talking to a friend is NOT cheating.. is it??

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on May. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • I would think you were cheating. And once you're married you shouldn't talk to ANY man behind your husbands back. I would be royally pissed if my husband had deleted messages from some girl. Put yourself in his shoes.
    Eisleysmommy27

    Answer by Eisleysmommy27 at 4:23 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • talking to a friend could be considered cheating depending on the person..personally Im not bashing you but if my dh were to do the same things you were doing fb and deleteing text's I would be all over him for cheating too..thats just my opinion though..I had a bff that was a guy growing up and my dh knows about him and they are even friends but since we got older and we both got married that relationship stopped there is NO TEXTING/FB between us
    jorjiegirl

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 4:25 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • you brought this on yourself. You deleted those messages which looks like you're trying to hide something.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:27 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I feel your pain.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:29 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • No talking to a friend is not cheating. It wasn't the best idea to delete the texts and message it makes you look like you have something to hide. I know you know this. It seems your man is WAY TOO JEALOUSE! My man was super jealous has toned down alot The last time we had a fight over it was a few years ago, we went to the navy christmas party, had a good time. He had a friend who was going through some crap with an ex wife. I felt sad for him. Well he was a friend of my hubbies, we became friends too. So one night I hugged him goodbye. WRONG thing to do. Because I hugged him my whole night was ruined. My husband was extremely upset and asked me if something was going on between us. All because of a hug. Prior to this I had a lot of guy friends, now I only have two guys friends I dumped them all for my relationship with my husband. I dont hang out with them alot because I don't need my man flipping out on me. So stay strong
    rhanford

    Answer by rhanford at 4:29 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I dont think its considered cheating but when you are trying to hide anything it looks sketchy.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 4:29 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Your DH sounds like he's got a load on insecurity issues with this jealousy. Sounds like he won't be happy unless you drop all contact with the male world, and being controlled like that is never a good situation. The fact you feel you have to lie to him over an innocent situation to save you from divorce means your relationship is not in a healthy place.

    Get some counselling or get help. I don't see this getting any better for you on its own.

    anng.atlanta

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 4:31 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • If you have to hide what you are doing, you shouldn't be doing it in the first place. Many an affair has started innocently enough, with just texts or phone calls that were nothing more than "old friends" catching up. Given your husband's jealous nature, I think you have to choose which is more important - your marriage or an occasional chat with a childhood friend.
    hootie826

    Answer by hootie826 at 4:32 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I agree with the others, deleting the messages look suspicious. But at the same time your husband's jealousy is way out of hand judging by the McDonalds's incident. The fact that you a married woman doesn't mean you can't have friends who are men, that's just silly, but you shouldn't be erasing/hiding things.
    GomezMami2908

    Answer by GomezMami2908 at 4:32 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I think your husband is overreacting, BUT you dug yourself a hole by deleting the messages. I would also be curious as to why, after sooo many years all of a sudden this guy is your best friend again. I'm not saying that means your cheating, but from the other side of it it would seem a little suspicious.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on May. 24, 2011

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