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Any advice or words of encouragement are appreciated.

My parents have been accused of ignoring my niece, who as of now, is 19 months old. I know, for a fact, that they have made numerous upon numerous attempts to try to make plans to visit or for my brother and SIL to come visit them. They only live an hour away and my parents have never once objected. It's always them who get shot down. Almost always, my bro and SIL wouldn't answer the phone. Then they would call back for days or weeks, only to say at the last minute they had plans and would never make an attempt to reschedule. My parents got a little tired of constantly being shot down but my mother never gave up. I have to add that my mom is actually his stepmom, but throughout the years and his whole relationship and marriage with my SIL, my mom has always been there for them and was the first person to encourage them to make amends with their own mothers. (In my opinion, both of their mom's are snotty selfish people, but that's just me.) My mother has NEVER spoke ill of their mothers, even when they ranted and raved all on their own. Since my SIL got pregnant, not only have they stopped visiting, but have made amends with both their moms. To me, it seems like now that they are on good terms with their moms after years, i mean YEARS, of not even speaking to them, its as if my mom has been put on the back burner and for the first time has truly been labeled as the "stepmom" who doesn't matter. I really don't think its fair, seeing how her and my brother always had a wonderful relationship. Him and I get along fine and I've kept my nose out of this but somedays I just want to smack him and see what an asshole he's being. In the past, they have always been on non-speaking terms with SOMEBODY, whether it was their moms, my uncle at one point, friends of theres... its become quite the trend and I told my mom that it just seems like it's their turn to be shunned out. Eventually, I think it will boil over and ill just wait to see who's next that they cut off communication. It's really childish, the whole damn thing. I've already said this to my parents and I'm planning on saying it to my brother and SIL when the timing is just right... The only person who will suffer the most from this whole thing, is my niece. How dare any and all of you to put such a small child in that kind of predicament. Personally, I don't see reason to not allow your child to see their grandparents because of issues between the adults. It's foolish and downright stupid. I've run out of words to help my parents feel better about the situation and am running out of patience on keeping my mouth shut, even though I know it's really not my business. I just want the madness to end already. Life is just too short. *sigh*

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Asked by DJsMommy610 at 5:32 PM on May. 24, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 18 (5,935 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • I feel very sorry for your mom. Your mom is such a special person to do another mother's job. You just keep saying your kind words to your mother, you know how special she is and just keep saying it to her. I know it is hard to keep your mouth quiet but you can just say, it really hurts me the way you are treating our mother. Just say it plain and simple. He will one day thank your mother for a wonderful job she did raising him. HUGS..... YOU are blessed to have her.

    Answer by sta517 at 5:54 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • She really is very special to me! I will add that she didn't raise my brother, he always lived with his mom. My dad only got to see him on the weekends, and him and i are almost 12 years apart. But my mom has always been proud of her stepmom position, and has proven that stepmoms don't have to be evil lol. I feel on my brother's part that it is a sorry excuse for her not having any kind of blood relation to make it so easy for them to shut her out. He tells her that the issue is between him and our dad but by ignoring her, he's making her apart of it as well and its just not fair. AND when my dad swallowed his pride and apologized for any wrong (still not sure what this whole thing is about), my brother heard his sincere apology and said "it's not good enough". WHAT?!!! Are you kidding me?? It's just horrible, and i never thought i'd witness something like this in my family.

    Comment by DJsMommy610 (original poster) at 6:07 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I hear ya big time! I've gone through things like that with my niece over the last few years. I'm happy to say that many things have been worked out.
    in fact, I just got a email from them asking to see us this weekend since we'd not seen each other in a while. :)

    hang in there, I like to think if my situation can get better, most anyone's can.

    BTW who accused your stepmom of ignoring the niece? maybe they don't know the entire situation.
    maybe if she sent things in the mail everyone in a while, like stickers, stuff like that. I know it's not fair, but sometimes when you just keep trying sometimes they come around.


    Answer by ItsMe89 at 8:39 PM on May. 26, 2011

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