Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What to do with my 4 year old?

She whines and throws major fits everytime we have to leave a friends' house. It's driving me crazy, then she has the audacity to talk back to me. I would love some advice here. Thank you

Answer Question

Asked by Azmommy0105 at 5:44 PM on May. 24, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Do you give warnings at all? That helps a TON with my son.. the more warnings the better.. with adding a run down of what we are doing next
    max, in 10 minutes we have to leave the park and go home tto clean up for dinner and play
    5 minutes,
    3 minutes
    Ok Buddy, you have 1 more minute to play super hard and its time to go -
    This method has so far avoided all fits for us when it comes to leaving anywhere.. not saying it will sure fire work for you but it works for us!!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:50 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Yes I do give warnings, maybe I'm just going to have to be really firm about these warnings. Seems like she's testing me to see how far she can go. So not ready for this stage.
    Thank you!!

    Comment by Azmommy0105 (original poster) at 5:53 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I have had to pick my son up and literally take him from my moms house ( which is where the fits happen when we have to leave there) and put him in the car and let him hoot and scream. first place he goes is in time out when we get home for not listening, then he loses a marble which is our reward system. I hear ya Mama!!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:58 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I had to pick my daughter up and carry her out twice, then after that all I had to do was ask her "am I going to have to pick you up and carry you out? Because I WILL do that if I have to!" and she would come along. I'm so glad that stage ended quickly, because that was my least favorite ever.

    Answer by SWasson at 6:03 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • The rule at my MIL's house is that you have to leave happy or you can't come back again. Happy meaning not outwardly crying or throwing a tantrum.

    My 4 year old has problems now and then too. I swear I'm a broken record of "If you keep throwing this tantrum we won't come back again, ever". Stick to your guns, don't cave in in the least, and she WILL eventually learn that the tantrums are not going to get her anything but in trouble.

    Take lots of deep breaths, it will pass..........eventually.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 6:35 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Giving warnings is the best way I used with my son, who has mild ASD. If that isn't working though, you could try taking away a privilege everytime she pitches a fit when you leave. I once banned my son from going into a store for an entire year because of the fits he would pitch when we left it. He hated it and never did pitch a fit when it was time to leave a store. You could also pick her up and carry her out, most 4 yr olds don't want to be carried out of a place. It will pass, it doesn't last only seems like it does! Good Luck!

    Answer by Tawneekitn at 7:00 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • (@ maxsmom11807 ) she especially does this at my mom's house.
    Thank you everyone for the advice. I'm really going to have to start picking her up and go from now on.
    Heck, I'll get a good workout too, right? :) LOL

    Comment by Azmommy0105 (original poster) at 1:32 AM on May. 25, 2011

  • We give warnings, but make it seem like a choice. I ask, "do you want to go now, or in 5 minutes?" They always choose in 5 minutes. When the time is up they sometimes protest, but we remind them that they got to choose. I think it may help that we also use the same phrase at bedtime, so they know that there isn't another choice once the 5 minutes is up.


    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 10:08 AM on May. 25, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.