Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

I don't know how to stop comparing myself to her...

my fiance is in the middle of a divorce. They have a beautiful little girl who is almost 3, whom I love as my own. I can't stop comparing between the two of us. I feel like he did more for her and their relationship, and it makes me feel inferior. They would go on trips, even after the little angel was born, oh and here's the real kicker, she hasn't seen the child in OVER a year and expects to get custody. I wouldn't be able to go on without her, i love her more than anything. i don't really know why i'm posting anything about this. I guess i just want someone to hold my hand and tell me it's ok. If it wasn't for him and the mini chica i would have ended up dead a while ago, i have changed, and grown, so much with both of them. i just need a friend, if there are any out there please let me know.

Answer Question

Asked by brookemhowell at 6:53 PM on May. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,616 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • hugsif you need to talk i'm here


    Answer by mamawilbur at 6:56 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • It sounds to me as though the little angel needs you as much as you need her! DONT compare yourself to her -- why would you want too, obviously it didn't work out! PLUS -- it souns to me as though you have a caring heart -- why compare yourself to a woman who CHOOSES not to see her child in a year???

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 6:56 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • ill be ur friend something similar to my situation msg me if u like

    Answer by anayasmommy21 at 6:56 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • i bet once the divorce is over & done with, he'll do more for you. Divorces are consuming & stressful, just be there for him right now & support him. He will really appreciate that.. Once that is off his shoulders, he'll be good to go. Definitely hang in there!

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:57 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • No pity. You are with a married man.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:12 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I think that is part of going into a relationship with someone who has not ended their previous relationship completely. It can get messy. He may have mentally finished the relationship but all the legal stuff is still there and he is still having to deal with all of that therefore he cant completely give himself to you as you would want right now.

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 7:17 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • @anon you don't fully know my situation, and you dont know what has gone on behind closed doors so i don't need you to judge me

    Comment by brookemhowell (original poster) at 7:24 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Sorry :-( lots of hugs your way

    Answer by tspillane at 7:42 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • You will be fine sweets and things will start looking up for you ... I PROMISE

    Answer by Helen2004 at 7:55 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I totally understand. I am getting married next week. My man was still legally married but totally separated from his wife when we hooked up. I compared myself to her and compared freaking everything!! They have no kids together though. She would do stuff to totally piss me off like he wanted her and her daughter off of his cell phone bill so he asked her to go to the store and take herself off and get her own. She told him that she would IF he bought her and her daughter new cell phones. She pulled all kinds of stupid shit like that. Then, when she found out that he was marrying me, she sent him an e-mail and asked him if he wanted to RE-BUY her wedding ring from her for $6,000 and give it to me. She was a work of art let me tell you. I still have issues because I'm insecure but he is with me and I have to keep telling myself that! Good luck!

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 8:05 PM on May. 24, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.