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7 Bumps

What's happened to my life?

This is going to sound selfish but I'm going to say it since I am embarassed to tell anyone who knows me in real life..

I feel like I want my life back. I got married when I was 17 and now 20 years later I feel exhausted. I love my DH and kids (17,15 and 13) to death but I want to do things for myself too. I want to leave them. I don't want to miss out on my kids lives, but I want to live in my own house, without them, for at least a month. Knowing me I'm NEVER going to dare to leave but I feel bad for wanting to.

We've been having so many family problems for years, mainly financial, and my kids are good but they've all been acting up lately and I just need to get away from it all. I've been feeling that way for a while and I feel like I'm going to blow up!!

I know it sounds selfish and I feel extremely bad for feeling the way I do.. But I do.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:21 PM on May. 24, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Don't feel guilty- we all go thru this in some form or fashion. We wake up one day & realize every breath we take is not for us but for someone else. Men don't understand this bcz generally when their work day is done at 5pm their work is over. The job of a mother is literally 24/7. I've been both a working mom & a stay-at-home mom & some days I may have a few hours to myself but they are never "guilt-free" if I stop & take a break for me. Your children are old enough now to care for themselves while you take a "timeout"., and I would say you need more than a weekend getaway to get the job done. If you have a friend out of town that you could spend a week with that would be great. Sell it to your spouse & children as time to catch up with an old friend. Good luck :-)
    3plus2

    Answer by 3plus2 at 8:34 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • How about a weekend away?? Do you have any family members who live a little farther away? Any friends? See if you can stay with one of them, sleep in, relax, take some time out for mommy
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 8:24 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • What you are feeling is totally normal. Since your kids are all teenagers they require less hands on than babies. Give DH watch duty and take yourself out. Maybe you can check into a hotel once a month? A weekend getaway should be something you can give yourself. What I do is I send my husband and all 3 kids to his mother's for the weekend. I have the house to myself. I can clean up quickly and veg out all weekend. And since hubby goes with the kids his mother isn't overwhelmed at 3 small kids. Maybe you can kick them out once or twice a month? Do you have a few close friends that you can arrange a road trip with? Or a staycation, go visit some touristy place that's only a couple of hours away, you wouldn't even have to explain why you need a break. And maybe you should find someone you can talk to. There's nothing wrong with talking to a shrink, that's reminds me, I have to make an appointment ;)
    Aneya

    Answer by Aneya at 8:38 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • sounds like you just need a life outside of your family. Do you work outside the home? Maybe take up a hobby or join a group...
    Proverbs_31

    Answer by Proverbs_31 at 9:05 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • You need a nice weekend away a spa with some girl friends and a few drinks with a nice quiet hotel room with a good book!
    shsutterfield08

    Answer by shsutterfield08 at 9:42 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. I can completely understand how hard it is. I don't know what the answer for you is but I do know there are other woman who have made the choice to leave and after some counseling and adjusting the children came to terms with it and ultimately everyone was better off. Maybe you could get your own place for a month or so just to get an idea of how things might go. Whatever you decide to do I hope it helps. Good luck.

    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 8:35 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • No it doesnt sound selfish everyone needs ME TIME :) and im sorry your feeling this way
    BiTcHy_MaMa

    Answer by BiTcHy_MaMa at 8:48 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Let me tell u I am right there with u I have been debating this past week to just pack up call my job and tell them I'm not coming in for 2 weeks so I can get in the car and go I'm fighting bad with the hubby and my ss bio mom has pushed my last button the only thing I want is my beautiful daughter to be with me I wish school was out cz we would just go whew that was alot...u r not selfish do what will clear your mind enjoy yourself if you are not happy and satisfied you can't hold down all the roles you play mother, wife, counselor, and deffinatly you can't be the strength in your marriage so I say take some time u don't need your own place u just need a place to gather yourself you will be ok its another day in this chapter. Good luck :)
    rinamomof2

    Answer by rinamomof2 at 9:22 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • No. YOu are not selfish at all. You porbably just spent the last 20 years on husband and kids stuff, no wonder you feel the way you do. If you didn't, I would say there's something wrong. Like all the moms have said, you need "me time". Can you schedule that once a week, even for a few hours? and maybe a trip away from home twice a year? It doesn't need to be long, maybe 2-3 days. If financially it's not feasible, catching a movie with or without girlfriends is nice too. Or buy a people magazine, a latte and just sit in Borders for an afternoon.
    Olivia4116

    Answer by Olivia4116 at 9:26 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • whoops.... I was in the the hospital for just a month and rehab for five.......
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 PM on May. 24, 2011

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