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Married and lonely

Yup thats me! How is it possible? I don't feel loved at all by him. So why am i sticking around? If i leave I'll be a struggling single mom. He makes way more compared to me. I son't want that for my kids but i don't know how much I can take. I just want my marriage to work. I feel ignored and like a burden on him. This is not what marriage should be like. I know it's not going to be perfect but I feel like I am the only one trying sometimes.
Advice pls from other married women would help me alot. I want to just leave but I'm not sure if I should give up on my marriage just yet.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:23 PM on May. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Can you schedule a date night? Send him sexy text messages during the day about what you want to do with him in bed?
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 8:24 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Does he know that you are feeling this way? My DH is a workaholic so I can relate to the feeling of being lonely...I suggest you try what I did, I sat him down and told him exactly what was going on with me and how I felt when he chose work over spending time with me and our daughter...he is still a workaholic but things have gotten better...I know that he's trying. Good luck honey, I hope things get better for you.
    Lucky209

    Answer by Lucky209 at 8:26 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Sounds like you might need to go pick up a book, "The 5 Languages of Love" by Gary Chapman. Yes, its a Christian book, but I believe it may help the two of you.

    Also, have you tried to speak to him about your feelings?
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 8:27 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Thanks ladies! Yes i heard of that book and read it twice but i will read it again! I kept trying to get him to read it but he won't. I have told him numerous times about how I'm feeling and it doesn't seem to be working thats why I'm considering but I talk with him again
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:39 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • You need to sit down and talk, and I mean...talk from both ends. He needs to give you his view, and you give him yours. Make agreements about things, like a date night for the two of you. That at least once every month you each do something spontaneous and romantic for each other. get to the bottom of the problem and then build off of it. work around your issues and make time. If he cant do that, then you need to let him know the risks to your relationship. Its an important rule, if a man cant put effort into your relationship while you are, then hes not much of a man...I wish you the best of luck and I hope he wakes up.

    <3
    Cherrycatt

    Answer by Cherrycatt at 10:42 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Maybe a mediator could help? If he's not willing to go to one then maybe you should just meet the problem head on. Tell him the truth, he's losing you. You can't help him if he doesn't talk to you, it doesn't have to be drawn out, just honest. I too feel lonely in my marriage, what woke mine up was me mentioning that I might go and stay with some family 2.5 hours away. Now he's more engaged. Men get into ruts just like women do, but we are more communicative by nature. Do you fear leaving only because of your financial situation? If so, take your time to get yourself prepared to go it alone. Have someone to talk to to help you make an exit strategy. If you really want your marriage to work then you may have to fight for it, the question is, does he?
    Aneya

    Answer by Aneya at 11:10 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Thank you ladies. Everyones response is very helpful. I will talk to him tonight.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:48 AM on May. 25, 2011

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