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2 Bumps

Mean Girls

How to deal with mean girls. I have noticed over time my daughter saying things that seemed off, mean, or just rude and have corrected her telling her why its wrong ect. After watching her interact with her friends, talking to some of the other moms, and a startling conversation with her myself; I came to a horrible realization my daughter is a "mean girl". She is six (almost seven) core values, traits and personality are not set in stone, how do I fix this?????

I was tormented all through school by the mean girls, I would never in a million years say some of the things she said in the company of my closest adult friends let alone saying in front of her. I know the most common thought in this situation is the mom. But I would never. Please help the idea of my daughter growing up to be a snotty, mean girl is not something I want when I can still fix it.

 
Newfie_Mom

Asked by Newfie_Mom at 9:51 PM on May. 24, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 8 (220 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • There is a lot of information on the internet about bullying. Identifying the behavior of a bully and how to try to change it. Good for you for recognizing she's being hurtful to others and wanting her to change. Most people wouldn't think girls that young would have to deal with this issue but it sure is out there.
    etown2reds

    Answer by etown2reds at 10:01 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • My son is in grade two and his teacher tells me the girls in that class are just "the worst" in terms of meanness and that clique mentality. It horrifies me that girls so young are already being dragged into that sort of (what I would think of as a more teenage) mentality of having to be mean and superior to validate their own self-worth. It's tragic.

    I was pretty mean as a kid, and it took a real wake-up call for me. My sister and I had been teasing our brother (1 yr older) ruthlessly, as usual, and we thought all was well and that it was all just in a kind of mean-spirited fun, but then our mom told us he was crying himself to sleep. I was devastated. I really had not realized we were being so hurtful. So maybe try and find a way to show her how much a mean word can hurt someone. She may not realize the seriousness of what she's doing.

    Good luck. *hugs*
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 10:01 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Just tell her it is not okay to be mean & she should treat others nicely if she wants to be treated nicely in return & have friends & be liked. It's hard no doubt here is a bump 4 u...
    sarasmommy777

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 9:55 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • You need to try to humble her and to make sure she knows that everyone is different and thats how its meant to be and that you should be respectful of people etc and to treat others how she would like to be treated and that bullying behavior is absolutely unacceptable, your right you can do something about it and now is the time to put your foot down with it or it can easily spiral out of control.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 10:00 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I think what took me longer than it should have to identify the behavior is her behavior is night and day different at school and at home. She is sweet as pie to her little brother and defends him to the very end, I mean she took the blame when he spilled his milk at breakfast (which I wasn't mad about to begin with because he is one and its milk, c'mon now) but she said she knocked it over to "keep him out of trouble". The idea of her being the bully was just shocking to me. But thank you for the advice of the bully sites on the web are a good idea to look into. The humbling her idea from above was a good idea too but I am not sure how to do that either.
    Newfie_Mom

    Comment by Newfie_Mom (original poster) at 10:11 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Maybe all you need to do is pinpoint a particular thing you saw and sit down with her and talk about it. I still get upset when I think about how much we were hurting our brother, emotionally, and that was like 35 years ago!
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 3:45 AM on May. 27, 2011

  • I have pinpointed the source. Between her teachers, the other moms, and anyone who sees her when I am not with her. And I think I have found the source of her new found mean girl tactics. thanks everyone
    Newfie_Mom

    Comment by Newfie_Mom (original poster) at 10:16 AM on May. 28, 2011

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