Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

What should I do?

ok so i need some advice my husband and i have een together for 15 yrs ,4 boys 13yr,10yr old,4yr old and 2 yr old. not the happiest yrs of my life hes controlling some and insecure and sometimes even damn right mean.well in the last 4yrs too ive had gut feelings he even was cheating on me.well anyway we been fighting alot and me acusing him of cheating he went behind my back got an apt and i found out and said what r u waiting for get so angry and mad he abandoned us esp me with being a stay at home so angry but i miss him so much and ive been actin like i dont care just speakin to him about bills or kids.i cant help feeling like he left me for another women i guesse bc it actually would be less hurtful then admitting we failed at our marriage i asked for counseling but he refuses.idk what to do?should i fight for this man or not ?will that just push him away further? i thought he would atleast want booty calls nope not even that im so confused.its been 16 days since hes left and im dying inside it hurts so bad

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on May. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Counseling is not going to help if he isn't willing to work for it to. Fighting for him will do little except take you back where you were before. I would let it go the way it is for a while and see if he decides he wants to try and make it work, but until then be civil to him and that is it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Kick his ass out!! Tell him if he wants to stay married he can go to counseling or get out... and be done with it!! If he's not going to try why stay with him and be miserable!!


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • but what if hes just being mean and cold to me just to see if the grass is greener and then want to come back?should i let him do this too me?im so scared.i was a good women i stayed home with our kids,never spent his money and had sex whenever he wanted it has to be another women right?u dont just up and leave and drasticly get an apt even i mean really go to ur moms if u need a break

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:28 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • Dont give up on him, but give him his space. If you keep fightin then you will push him away into someone elses arms. I know it hurts, but be patient. If he gets his space, hopefully he will come around lil by lil. Just have faith & take it day by day....

    Answer by roxsanne1975 at 11:28 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • I agree great advice anno.

    Answer by mamaofficer at 11:29 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • yea hes already out he left me actually,he had an apt but didnt go yet but then i found out and said yea what r u waiting for?i mean he already signed the lease wth

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:29 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • rox is what i thought but im so angry and i know i have a right to be im so upset i dont know how to react sometrimes i feel like im my own worse enemy.but i dont wanna kiss his ass either i want him to wanna come back

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:32 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • If he's out, and wants to come back tell him counseling is the condition to his returning!
    Then also go for some individual counseling for your self. Go and talk to a professional that can help you sort it all out.


    Answer by Crafty26 at 11:39 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • You didn't fail your marriage he did. He is the one walking away and not trying. It may hurt, but if you wern't really happy before it may not change. You have to make yourself happy for you and your boys. Hopefully he doesn't walk out on the kids too. I know this is a difficult situation, but you can't exspect him to try. If it was that easy for him to walk away then he probaly isn't worth the try. It sucks that it has to end, and time will heal you. Good Luck and I hope it all gets better for you.

    Answer by MommyMJean at 11:43 PM on May. 24, 2011

  • im sorry

    I agree 100% with MommyMJean. Just take a step back and look at what you've said as if someone else wrote it. Now think of what advice you would give to them. In you're heart you know what you need to do and what should be done, you're just looking for any shred of hope that the opposite could happen. You don't need us telling you what you should do


    Answer by mrsziemann at 1:08 AM on May. 25, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.